Quotes from Thomas W. Phelan

First, see if you can make three positive comments for every negative one (and, by the way, a count is one negative comment).

friendliness also mean being sensitive to the children's feelings: sharing their joy over a new friend, comforting them when their ice cream falls on the ground, listening sympathetically when they're

Children can't respond properly to warnings if they don't hear them clearly in the first place. Finally,

Adults who believe in the Little Adult Assumption are going to rely heavily on words and reasons in trying to change the behavior of young kids. And words and reasons are going to be miserable failures much of the time.

Si tiene un niño que está haciendo algo que no le gusta a Ud., y Ud. se molesta con frecuencia, claro, el niño lo repitirá.

A child who missed a nap, who feels hungry,

Your kids are little. Both their bodies and their brains are still growing. No

Well, this wouldn't have happened if you'd have simply listened to me in the first place" are unnecessary.

The point behind 1-2-3 Magic is that parents are ready for anything, rather than worrying what the kids are going to do next. The message is: "I love you, and it's my job to train and discipline you. I don't expect you to be perfect, and when you act up, this is what I will do.

and especially in video games. A typical news broadcast

With the Docking System, you tell the kids, "I have good news and bad news. The good news is that if you forget a chore, I'll do it for you. The bad news is that you're going to pay me for helping you out." Then tell them the exact amount they will have to pay you.

Being warm and friendly also means liking—not just loving—your children. The

effective parents expect their children to rise to life's challenges (as you know, there are plenty!) and to respect the rules and limits that will be required for their behavior. These

They are not born reasonable and unselfish; they are born unreasonable and selfish. They want what they want when they want it, and they will have a major fit if they don't get it. Consequently, it is the parent's job—and the teacher's job—to help kids gradually learn frustration tolerance. In accomplishing this goal, adults need to be gentle, consistent, decisive, and calm.

Childhood is a period of transitory psychosis.