Quotes from Hal Stone

Our judgments always have behind them a quality of righteousness.

She discovered she had disowned her anger so totally that when she was deeply irritated by her husband, she experienced not anger but overwhelming desire to go to sleep. When she learned her drowsiness was a substitute for natural aggression, she began to search for the anger concealed by her overwhelming fatigue. As soon as she became aware of her anger voice and learned what it wanted, the drowsiness disappeared.

In an attempt to eradicate these rejected selves, we make them much stronger by driving them into the unconscious where they are free to operate beyond our control.

Instead, it is a group of subpersonalities, watched over by the protector/controller, that determines our feelings and behavior. Thus, we always have a vague fear that if the other person really knew what we were like, he or she would abandon us (even though we ourselves do not know what this mysterious "real" person is actually like).

f the lion in us wishes to roar but the goat bleats instead, we must pay for this substitution in one way or another. Payment will vary: For some, it will be experienced as depression, a loss of energy and enthusiasm, or a growing unconsciousness. For others, it can be uncontrollable, seemingly irrational behavior, during which life, fortune, profession, or marriage may be risked. In its most extreme form, the price may be a physical breakdown that can lead to illness or even death.

If the lion in us wishes to roar but the goat bleats instead, we must pay for this substitution in one way or another. Payment will vary: For some, it will be experienced as depression, a loss of energy and enthusiasm, or a growing unconsciousness. For others, it can be uncontrollable, seemingly irrational behavior, during which life, fortune, profession, or marriage may be risked. In its most extreme form, the price may be a physical breakdown that can lead to illness or even death.

The consequences of this definition are far-reaching, for if we accept this hypothesis, there will be no reason to feel bad or guilty about the way we are. Each self will be fully honored;

Your Aware Ego will not remain with you at all times because it disappears each time your primary selves take over.

The idea of surrender in relationship is not to another person but to the process of relationship itself.

The first principle of partnership, you must have both love and a commitment to the mutual exploration of consciousness in order to convert your relationship to a partnering model.

We must also be willing to take time to nourish connection that exists between our partners and ourselves.

The key here is that each of us must learn to feel our own vulnerability so that we can feel the vulnerability of our partners. This deepens connections. Embracing our vulnerability is a very threatening thing to do in relationship because it means meeting the other person without defenses.

When we link energetically with choice and awareness, a soul connection is made. We begin to develop a new kind of sensing in which the visible and invisible worlds become as one. The world of spirit begins to open to us through the path of relationship.

Sexuality without energetic linkage, or intimacy, is ultimately unsatisfying...Linkage carries the juice of the relationship and when it disappears, there is always something missing in the sexual connection.

When most people use the word "I," they are in fact referring to their protector/controller.

His "psychological car" was driven at various times by his inner pusher, his pleaser, his frightened child, and his inner critic, who was always willing to let him know how inadequate he really was.

one of the primary issues in the evolution of consciousness is the discovery of these subpersonalities and how they operate within us.

we start with the basic idea that consciousness is not an entity—it is a process.

Consciousness evolves on three distinctly different levels. The first is the level of awareness. The second level is the experience of the different selves, subpersonalities, or energy patterns. The third level is the development of an aware ego.

Awareness is the capacity to witness life in all its aspects without evaluating or judging the energy patterns being witnessed, and without needing to control the outcome of an event.

Susan was at a party with her husband, and she was feeling very jealous because he was showing a great deal of attention to another woman there. Susan's strong spiritual training, however, had taught her that feelings such as anger and. jealousy can and should be transmuted. She had learned how to do this by meditating, so she meditated until she felt detached from the situation. Soon, she was no longer feeling jealousy; she was feeling love.

We have discovered, however, that there is remarkably little choice in the world. Unless we awaken to the consciousness process, the vast majority of us are run by the energy patterns with which we are identified or by those which we have disowned.

Unfortunately, having read about disowned selves, you cannot bask in the sunshine of moral superiority for too long.

We humans are a most delightful mélange of energy patterns or selves.