Quotes from p g wodehouse

It just shows how one half of the world doesn't know how three quarts live.

Many a time in the past, when an active operator on Wall Street, he had done things...which would have caused raised eyebrows on the fo'c'sle of a pirate sloop - and done them without a blush.

I remained motionless, like a ventriloquist's dummy whose ventriloquist has gone off to the local and left it sitting.

Pfui', I said. It is an expression I don't often use...

We'll fling the door open and make a rush, said Bill. Supposing they shoot, old scout? Burglars never shoot, said Bill. Which was comforting provided the burglars knew it.

It's the burglars!" quavered Mrs. Hignett. In the stress of recent events she had completely forgotten the existence of those enemies of society. "They were dancing in the hall when I arrived, and now they're playing the orchestrion!" "Light-hearted chaps!" said Eustace, admiring the sang-froid of the criminal world. "Full of spirits!

Who was that lad they used to try to make me read at Oxford? Ship- Shop- Schopenhauer. That's the name. A grouch of the most pronounced description.

You see', said Ukridge, ' I dislike subterfuge'.

I don't know if you suffer in the same way, but with me the act of talking in the nature of real mashed potatoes always induces a sort of prickly sensation and a hideous feeling of shame, together with a marked starting of the pores.

Major-General Sir Wilfred Bosher came to distribute the prizes at that school', proceeded Gussie in a dull, toneless voice.'He dropped a book. He stooped to pick it up. And, as he stooped, his trousers split up the back'. 'How we roared!

Bingo Little, under the influence of romantic love or, perhaps just under the influence;..once said,'There is no love without perfect trust','Who told you that?' asked Bertie Wooster incredulously.

I could not but feel that it was ironical that the old relative should have spoken disparagingly of fawns as a class, sneering at their timidity in that rather lofty and superior manner, for he himself could have walked straight into a gathering of these animals and no questions asked.

There is only one cure for gray hair. It was invented by a Frenchman. It is called the guillotine.