Quotes from Chris Dolley

the Possession Diet. It's fast. It works. It introduces you to new, healthier foods. And it's almost never fatal.

Spirits have cravings--they're only human (well, some of them are)--but the amazing thing about these cravings is that they are SLIMMING POSITIVE! That's right, spirits don't crave sugary foods, or fat, or chocolate, or deep-fried carbs. They crave HEALTHY food like raw liver and bugs and those tiny dried-up foods you find in old attics and the better-stocked graveyards.

Clinical trials have proven that projectile vomiting is up to FOUR times more efficient than ordinary vomiting. You don't even have to run to the bathroom! With practice, and careful placement of your chair within thirty feet--and line of sight--of your bathroom, you can project your lunch from the comfort of your armchair.

He likens the physical being to a car, and the spiritual being to the driver. And possession is like carrying a passenger who shares the driving. And occasionally takes the car out for a spin without telling you. And maybe ties you up and stuffs you in the trunk.

Professor Raylene's ground breaking study found that subjects with Tourrette's Syndrome burned more calories than Lutherans.

This is the FBI Hostage Negotiations Service. Press one if you wish to surrender. Press two for a getaway car. Press three for a helicopter. Press four for a pizza

Good choice. You have selected the SUV. Press one for a black SUV. Press two for powder blue. Press three for bright orange with the 'caution: bank robber on board' bumper sticker

I always find pacing aids the detecting process. Well, that and gin. But as our host hadn't offered the latter, the former had to suffice.

Roderick Baskerville-Smythe, estranged scion of this parish," I replied. "I believe I'm expected." "Oh,

This sounded to me like a three-cocktail problem and there I was without so much as an olive!

We need expert help and Mr Worcester is the soul of discretion." "It's a consulting detective's middle name," I said. "Sometimes I don't even know what I'm investigating.