Quotes from Helen Russell

including the fact that 'slut' means 'ends' or 'finished'. So my new washing machine hasn't been abusing me all this time when it stopped and flashed the word 'slut' at me in bright red lights!

I understand that success and happiness should be measured by something other than money. That you can work and work to build up your bank balance and then end up spending it all to outsource your life, buying back your sanity and bribing yourself to keep on going.

Happy folk, I knew, were proven to earn more, be healthier, hang on to relationships for longer and even smell better.

My motto: Why think rationally when you can add a little drama?)

Maybe I should start my happiness project by trying to be more grateful for what I've got,

find a study in the American Journal of Clinical Nutrition confirming that home-cooked meals actually make people feel better than indulgent meals eaten at a restaurant.

Psychologists at the University of British Columbia in Vancouver, Canada, found that the better educated and wealthier a nation is, the less likely its population is to believe in a higher being. The Global Index of Religion and Atheism also assessed that poverty was a key indicator of a society's tendency towards religion – so that poorer countries tend to be the most religious. The one exception to the rule? America.

Life, I feel, becomes unnecessarily stressful if you're rushing all the time, when a little planning can ensure that you arrive on time, unfazed

Being an immigrant is not for the admin-phobic.

and a sense of being part of something bigger than yourself, like religion, or just being Danish for folk round these parts.

Continuing to learn throughout life helps improve mental well-being, boosts self-confidence, gives you a sense of purpose and makes you feel more connected to others, according to the Office for National Statistics.

the nice bits of them can never make up for the offensively crappy parts. I

The theory is that being a part of a club helps you to be an active person, involved in community life and with a sense of responsibility for the collective. This is important for developing a society of trust. There's lots of research to show that being part of a club helps develop trust as it encourages us to live a connected, associational life – which is good for us and makes us happy.

English speakers' guide to learning languages, lesson #3: If in doubt, try saying the same thing again in a different accent (lesson #1 being 'say it louder' and lesson #2 being 'say it more slowly').

to have to check messages in the evenings,' says Alexander, 'which isn't good, as you never relax and recharge.

It also occurred to me that wishing away half your life in anticipation of retirement (albeit an awesome one) was verging on the medieval.

That you can work and work to build up your bank balance and then end up spending it all to outsource your life, buying back your sanity and bribing yourself to keep on going. Over a certain basic threshold, it's simple life maths: Fewer new shiny things = fewer hours overtime = happier life.

wondering how on earth hospital staff have seen fit to allow us custody of an actual human being. (Me: 'I can't even keep our houseplants alive!' Lego Man: 'We have houseplants?')

the fact that I was dreaming of retirement at the age of 33 was probably an indicator that something had to change. I

inhabitants paid cripplingly high taxes. Which meant that we would, too. Oh brilliant! We'll be even more skint by the end of the month than we are already… But for your Danish krone, I learned, you got a comprehensive welfare system, free healthcare, free education (including university tuition), subsidised childcare and unemployment insurance guaranteeing 80 per cent of your wages for two years.

relying on industrial quantities of caffeine to get through the day and self-medicating with Sauvignon Blanc to get myself to sleep. Sunday

great art and design can even induce the same brain activity as being in love – something Denmark cottoned on to 90-odd years ago.

had a job I'd worked hard for in an industry I'd been toiling in for more than a decade. But once I got the role I'd been striving towards, I realised I wasn't actually any happier – just busier.

I look suspiciously at the half-empty glass in my hand.