Quotes from Henry Wheeler Shaw

Money will buy you a pretty good dog, but it won't buy the wag of his tail.

Rumor is like bees; the more you fight them the more you don't get rid of them.

When a man comes to me for advice, I find out the kind of advice he wants, and I give it to him.

Prejudice assumes the garb of reason, but the cheat is too thin.

Vanity is a strange passion; rather than be out of a job it will brag of its vices.

Take the selfishness out of this world and there would be more happiness than we should know what to do with.

Our necessities are few, but our wants are endless.

Rumor is a vagrant without a home, and lives upon what it can pick up.

I hate grate talkers; i had rather hav a swarm of bees lite onto me.

I don't kno az i want tew bet enny money, and giv odds, on the man, who iz alwus anxious tew pray out loud, every chance he kan git.

I dont never hav enny trouble in regulating mi own kondukt, but tew keep other pholks straight iz what bothers me.

Mankind loves misterys--a hole in the ground, excites mor wonder than a star in the heavens.

The lion and the lamb may, possibly, sumtime lay down in this world together for a fu minnits, but when the lion kums tew git up, the lamb will be missing.

As a gineral thing, when a woman wares the britches, she has a good rite tew them.

I am poor, and I am glad that i am, for i find that wealth makes more people mean than it duz generous.

Their is one advantage in a plurality of wifes; tha fite each other, insted ov their husbands.

I hope i shall never hav so much reputashun that i shan't feel obliged to be alwus civil.

I had rather be a pot-bellied seed cowcumber, flung carelessly on a wood pile to ripen, than tew be an old bachelor.

Marrying for buty iz a poor spekulashun, for enny man who sees yure wife, has got just about az mutch stock in her as yu have.

Thare iz this mutch kan be sed in favour ov good-breeding, it iz the only thing that kan make a phool endurable.

Giv every one you meet, my boy, the time ov day and halff the road, and if that dont make him civil dont waste enny more fragrance on the cuss.

The man who kan ware a paper collar a hole week and keap, it klean, aint fit for enny thing else.

Thare iz sich a thing az being alwus too quick--i am one ov that kind miself, i alwus miss a rale rode train bi being thare a haff an our too soon.

There iz only one good substitute for the endearments ov a sister, and that iz the endearments ov sum other pheller's sister.