Quotes from lerner harriet iii

Feeling essentially superior to other people is as sure a sign of poor self-esteem as feeling essentially inferior.

Your children are not little mirrors reflecting back the good or bad job you've done.

While women once acquired relationship skills to "hook," "snare," or "catch" a husband who would provide access to economic security and social status, the position of contemporary women has not changed that radically. Much of our success still depends on our attunement to "male culture," our ability to please men, and our readiness to conform to the masculine values of our institutions.

Men are often (though not always) the pursuers for sex, just like women are often (though not always) the pursuers for conversation.

If you exchanged wedding vows, tape them to your bathroom mirror and read them aloud to yourself every morning along with the ritual brushing of teeth. It's not realistic to believe that you will live your promises as a daily practice -- unless you're a saint or a highly evolved Zen Buddhist. Not where marriage is concerned. But you can make a practice of returning to your vows when the going gets rough.

I've yet to meet the person who aspires to be phony or invisible in her closest relationships.