Quotes from Les Carter

Empathy requires us to step outside of our own agendas long enough to develop an understanding of the other person's perspective. It can be rightly stated that no relationship will be whole without ongoing displays of empathy.

Humility grounds a person in the realization that life is not always fair, yet it can be manageable. Genuinely humble people are psychologically secure because they do not require others to dote on them, nor do they try to position themselves for favored treatment. Even as they lay down the wish to play God, they also choose not toe allow another human to assume the position of a god over them.

People like Steve can learn to address anger constructively. For instance, requests can be made for appropriate treatment without the request turning into an opportunity to belittle or intimidate. Boundaries and stipulations can be established even as the offending person is treated with dignity. The experience of anger not only does not have to become a springboard for foul treatment, it can actually prompt someone to stand up for needs and convictions in a positive manner.

Angry people may appear strong, willful, or certain, but be assured that beneath the veneer are fear and loneliness and insecurity and pain. Especially, there is pain.

Each difference in a relationship represents an opportunity for the participants to grow and stretch.

Humble people are dignified, not because they believe their behavior can be an effective tool to control others, but because they have made dignity a part of their character.

Despite the destructive nature of this personality profile, many narcissists have a history of appearing friendly and agreeable-at first. Only after people have ongoing exposure to the private world of a narcissist do they experience the pain such a person can cause.

Despite their general disinterest in others' feelings, narcissists yearn to be admired; they need to win others' approval, even as they posture to keep a manipulative edge. They become masters at feigning interest, when in fact they are not interested at all. They can cover contempt for someone with seemingly genuine friendliness. So skilled are they at appearing likeable that even close associates can be fooled into assuming that all is well in the relationship even when it is not.

Passive-aggressive people have not developed enough trust in others to be truly open. In fact, they shun opportunities to reveal who they really are because they feel that there is too much risk that they will lose power if they reveal themselves.

Psychologically healthy people generally seek to be genuine, which involves a commitment to internal and external consistency. Simply put, genuineness means that someone's behavior can be trusted as an accurate reflection of that person's inner beliefs and priorities.

Others manipulate through pouting, giving others the silent treatment, being secretive or stubborn, conniving behind others' backs, or being intimidating. Whatever the means, their behavior indicates that they place no value on open, straightforward communication; their only concern is that they get their way.

You cannot afford to be overcome by chronic anger simply because the person in front of you chooses inappropriateness.

If compliance will get them what they want, they will feign a cooperative spirit. If they think lying is necessary, they will say whatever needs to be said. If it seems profitable to keep secrets or to reveal only partial truths, they will do that.