Quotes from letterman david iv

The senator got so tired on the campaign trail that he started kissing hands and shaking babies.

There's already been some trouble for Osama bin Laden in the afterlife. There was a mix-up and he was greeted by seventy-two vegans.

British Petroleum said today that if this spill gets worse, they may have to start drilling for water.

Fall is my favorite season in Los Angeles, watching the birds change color and fall from the trees.

Charles Manson was going to get married. He's 80 years old, and serving a life sentence in prison. Well, the marriage is off. And today I saw that his profile was back on eHarmony.

Harrison Ford proposed to Calista Flockhart and then slipped the ring around her waist.

In London you can buy a hamburger for $1,700. Now, wait a minute, before you start bellyaching, yes, it comes with fries. It's $1,700. It's called the McSucker.

Now all of us can talk to the NSA -- just by dialing any number.

In pop culture news, Lady Gaga got married. And yes, she was wearing white meat.