Quotes from Bob Newhart

I don't think of myself as an American Master. I've just been making a living.

The first time I heard Richard Pryor, I knew he would be a major force in the world of comedy.

It's kind of hard coming from 'Saturday Night Live,' which is a sketch-driven show, to a movie.

I don't know how many sacred cows there are today. I think there's a little confusion between humor and gross passing for humor. That's kind of regrettable.

I think there's a little confusion between humor and 'gross' passing for humor. That's kind of regrettable, because they aren't the same thing.

I've always said people say on a dramatic show, 'I was crying. It was so emotional when he went and grabbed that little girl from a burning building and handed her over to her mother.' In comedy, the best thing you can say is, 'I think it's funny.'

With the stand-up comic on TV, whether it's Seinfeld or Cosby or Roseanne, more important than their knowledge of how to tell a joke is their knowledge of themselves, or the persona they've created as themselves. So that when you're in a room with writers, you can say, 'Guys, that's a funny line, but I wouldn't say it.'

It's getting harder and harder to differentiate between schizophrenics and people talking on a cell phone. It still brings me up short to walk by somebody who appears to be talking to themselves.

I've had time off, and it drove me nuts. I was crawling up the wall.

Without great writing, you've got a bunch of actors bumping into each other.

I think one reason for a successful marriage is laughter. I think laughter gets you through the rough moments in a marriage.

I think the thing about it is when you grow up in Chicago there's such a thing as putting on airs, you know? And you just learn not to put on airs. Don't act like, 'Oh boy, I'm somebody.' They'll slap you down.

I have to warn you, I'm not just some sitcom guy. I'm now an author.

Don Rickles and I are best friends. I know that might seem strange to those who know Don only by reputation, but somebody has to be his friend. Just to make sure I don't forget, Don gave me a doormat that sits just outside the front door of my house. It reads: 'The Newharts: The Rickleses Best Friends.'

Women are more emotional. They do get flustered. Which is not to say that men are better than they. It's simply the way it is.

People have told me, 'My dad passed on, but I have great memories of watching your shows with him.' It doesn't get any better than that.

Humor is so important to the American scene throughout history.

What you see on stage is pretty much the way I am... a dry sense of humor.

I was never a Certified Public Accountant. I just had a degree in accounting. It would require passing a test, which I would not have been able to do.

Don't live in the past. There's no point. You can't change anything. What a waste of time.

I wasn't the class clown. I wasn't that obvious. There would be a circle of guys, and they're watching the class clown. And I'm standing in the back, and I turn to the guy next to me and I say something funny to him, and he starts to laugh. And the guy next to him says, 'What did he say?'

When I was off TV, people would ask me to please come back, which I think was their way of saying, 'There's nothing out there for us.'

There isn't a comedian in the world that hasn't bombed.

For a comedian, there is nothing better than watching another great comedian.