Quotes from Josh Gondelman

I appreciate how central religion is in the lives other people, but it has never resonated with me. I imagine this is how lots of people feel about things I love, like rap music or, it turns out, sports.

'The Big Lebowski''s soundtrack has had as much of an influence on me as the film itself. My favorite Bob Dylan song is 'The Man in Me,' which plays over the movie's opening credits as well as during the first dream sequence.

Although my grandmother was a strict parent and abided my grandfather's kosher diet, as a Nana, she had grown away from religion and was almost unbelievably permissive.

I like comedy that's very specific and isn't afraid to lose people through its specificity.

I have - and this isn't a thing I talk about often - a decent set of legs. There's an unexpected musculature that lends them a healthy shape.

I don't consider myself a nerd; I consider myself a dork more. I'm closer to a dork, if anything, just because I'm not good at stuff. I'm more like a failed non-nerd.

I just loved jokes so much as a child. I remember wanting to perform at, like... age seven by reading from a kids' joke book, and my parents being like, 'That's not what standup comedy is,' and me being like, 'Not yet it isn't! I'm going to change the game.'

Especially when I'm heckled, that's a sticky situation because I don't defuse it... I really envy guys who have a grittier onstage presence and can really go after someone. I used to teach preschool.

It would not occur to me to write a joke like, 'This would be great if I was more like Andrew Dice Clay.' It's not the voice I write in - which is largely an extension of the voice in my head that I think in.

As a kid, I always loved Mel Brooks' stuff - 'The 2,000 Year Old Man' record was something my dad put me onto.

I'm not usually vain about my body. It's like Pennsylvania: The same way the Keystone State comprises Philadelphia and Pittsburgh with not much in between, I've got good legs and shapely eyebrows, and it's kind of a wasteland outside of that.

I remember, when I was a kid, my dad would subscribe to the BMG Music Club, and we got that initial 12 CDs for a penny... I think it was cassettes. Eight CDs or 12 cassettes, something like that.

My aesthetic is, in short, 'cool substitute teacher.'

A vest, as a clothing item, always makes a statement, but depending on context, those declarations vary a great deal.

A vest is just a totem reminding you that some people dress well, and you can be one of those people.

I had a Screech-from-'Saved by the Bell' kind of vibe in that I hung out with people and had friends while having, like, big, curly hair and being generally a dork.

My comedy isn't clean; it's just friendly. So I get asked to do a lot of clean shows. It's like, 'Oh, I have a clean vibe, but I say gross, weird stuff.' It's just, it's very gentle the way I say it. It's not upsetting or jarring to people, because I'm not very aggressive.

I never assume anyone will see or like things I do, honestly!

What I try to do, what I attempt to do, is say things that I mean at least at an emotional level.