Quotes from Ernest Cline

Human beings were never meant to participate in a worldwide social network comprised of billions of people. We were designed by evolution to be hunter-gatherers, with the mental capacity to interact and socialize with the other members of our tribe—a tribe made up of a few hundred other people at most. Interacting with thousands or even millions of other people on a daily basis was way too much for our ape-descended melons to handle.

Are you cocks arguing about Star Wars again?" he said, descending the steps and walking over to join the crowd around us. "That shit is so played out, yo.

he appeared to have run out of shits to give sometime in the previous century. Today

Somebody set up us the bomb,' pal," he quoted. "Now it's time to take off every zig for great justice.

No weapons designer or engineer would build something with such an arbitrary weakness," he said. "The Disrupter is more like something a videogame developer would come up with, to create a big challenge at the end of a level—a boss that requires a huge sacrifice to destroy.

My Shoes. Black Chuck Taylor All Stars. They bestow their wearer with both speed and flight.

Douglas Adams, Kurt Vonnegut, Neal Stephenson, Richard K. Morgan, Stephen King, Orson Scott Card, Terry Pratchett, Terry Brooks

The only legitimate use of a computer is to play games. —Eugene Jarvis, creator of Defender

This realization allowed me to calm myself enough to heed the whispered advice of Master Yoda now on repeat in my head: Let go of your anger.

What could possibly be worse?" Cruz asked. "A mission where you have to blow up a Death Star while being attacked by two Borg Cubes inside an asteroid field?

Now I'm in a top-secret government base somewhere in the middle of fucking Iowa, waiting to find out what the hell is happening. In short—I'm totally losing my shit.

Being human totally sucks most of the time. Videogames are the only thing that make life bearable. —Anorak's Almanac, Chapter 91, Verses 1–2

I voted to reelect Cory Doctorow and Wil Wheaton (again). There were no term limits, and those two geezers had been doing a kick-ass job of protecting user rights for over a decade.

I dropped my backpack, shrugged off my coat, and hopped on the exercise bike. Charging the batteries was usually the only physical exercise I got each day.

Imagine that Dungeons and Dragons and an '80s video arcade made hot, sweet love, and their child was raised in Azeroth. If you're not already experiencing a nerdgasm at the thought, I don't want to know you." —John Scalzi, New York Times bestselling author of Old Man's War

I confronted the grim realization that virtual sex, no matter how realistic, was really nothing but glorified, computer-assisted masturbation. At the end of the day, I was still a virgin, all alone in a dark room, humping a lubed-up toy.

This story doesn't make any damn sense

The single window had once provided a view of the Columbus skyline, but I'd spray-painted it completely black a few days after I moved in. I'd decided that everything outside the window was a distraction from my quest

But all I had to show for my efforts was an impressive familiarity with obscure Sailor Moon trivia and an inexplicable desire to cosplay as Tuxedo Mask (which I may or may not have acted upon in the solitude and privacy of my own home).

I spotted a large bowl of fruit on the table—one that hadn't been there before.

These items were nothing but ones and zeros stored on the OASIS servers, but they were also status symbols. Most items only cost a few credits, but since they cost nothing for GSS to manufacture, it was all profit.

Now, thanks to the ONI, I could. And I did.

Each enemy I vanquished dropped a pile of "Zenny coins" that I could later use to purchase armor, weapons, and potions from one of the bearded wise men scattered throughout each level. (These "wise men" apparently thought setting up a small shop in the middle of a monster-infested dungeon was a fine idea.)

I drew one of my blasters