Quotes from Dan Schneider

A lot of times people who write sitcoms for the 18 to 49 crowd think writing for kids is easy. It really isn't. First of all, you're very restricted in what you can do.

I've said from the start that I'm not going to write kiddie sitcoms.

Jerry Trainor is one of the funniest people on the planet.

Even the kids who seem to have a lot of freedom, their lives are pretty controlled. So what I try to do on my shows is to have kids come out on top. They're the smartest ones in the room. They're the ones in charge.

'iCarly' gives me the luxury of addressing the fans directly. It was a sort of loving nudge to the fans saying, 'We're just a fun little sitcom to make you laugh.' This isn't a heavy-duty soap opera.

When I was on 'Head of the Class,' 25 million, 30 million people would watch that every night - now a big hit doesn't get a third of that audience.

Sometime in the early to mid-'90s, 8 P.M. television went away from family to being 'Friends' - and you really don't want your 10-year-old watching 'Friends.'

I couldn't, and I wouldn't have the long-term friendships and continued loyalty from so many reputable people if I'd mistreated my actors of any age, especially minors.

By the time I was on TV, I was 19, but I played a kid, and they treated us like kids, so it's almost like I was a kid actor. Basically we were considered props who spoke.

I never interacted with actors in any way, texting or otherwise, that should make anyone uncomfortable.

I don't want to wake up at 60 and have to call the neighbor who's 12 to help me with my computer.

Right when I moved to L.A., I started writing. I wrote some screenplay. I'm sure it's terrible. But I wrote a screenplay by myself. When I first moved to L.A., I had no friends. I didn't know anybody. I just sat in a little studio apartment, and I wrote a screenplay.

I realize we're not curing diseases with 'iCarly,' and we're not doing Shakespeare. It's not an Academy Award-winning film, but it has definitely touched people universally.

I liked television in the old days. I liked that everybody knew every episode of 'The Brady Bunch,' everybody knew every episode of 'Cheers.'

I don't want to be an old man some day and look it up and see some episode of one of the shows I did and go, 'ugh,' and be disappointed in myself.

My TV comedy idols are the Charles brothers, who did 'Cheers;' Larry Gelbart, who did 'MASH;' and Larry David, who did 'Seinfeld.' When I was 6 or 7-years-old, I'd watch 'Saturday Night Live' and guys like John Belushi and Dan Akroyd became my on-screen heroes.

My dad would have me watch the shows that he liked. I watched 'I Love Lucy.' I watched 'The Dick Van Dyke Show.' I watched 'M*A*S*H' and 'Mary Tyler Moore' and 'Bob Newhart' and 'Taxi' and 'Cheers.'

On my Nickelodeon shows - 'Victorious' is my seventh show for the channel - there's this same distinct comedic voice that goes throughout. I'm not saying it's brilliant, but it works and kids think it's funny.

It's a huge high to be able to earn a nice living doing the thing I love most - making comedy.

By the mid-'80s, I was an actor. I was never super-famous, but I was definitely on the map.