Quotes from Curtis Sittenfeld

And I don't know if you've heard this, but there's something called the Danny Horst Rule. And the amazing thing is, I'm Danny Horst. Touché. Chuckles, you and Noah are the ones who decide if it matters. It doesn't seem like it matters to him so that just leaves you. When you put it like that, it almost makes me sound like a self-sabotaging asshat. I'm not going to say the rule doesn't exist, but it's like Santa Claus. It's only real if you believe in it.

you certainly should

Part of the problem with just empathy with professed goals is that empathy doesn't do us anything. We've had lots of empathy; we've had lots of sympathy, but we feel that for too long our leaders have viewed politics as the art of the possible. And the challenge now is to practice politics as the art of making what appears to be impossible possible.

Coordinating the calendars of five men in their forties is like herding cats.

Where had I gotten the idea that being a nuissance was that big a deal?

I have always found the times when another person recognizes you to be strangely sad; I suspect the pathos of these moments is their rareness, the way they contrast with most daily encounters. That reminder that it can be different, that you need not go through your life unknown but that you probably still will -- that is the part that's almost unbearable.

reason to do anything other than bypass and ignore. And

Oh come on—as if there's a clear distinction between real and fake for any of us. Aren't we all performing the role of ourselves?

Then I thought of how my life at Ault was a series of interactions and avoidance of interactions in which I pretended not to mind that I was almost always by myself. I could not last for long this way, certainly not for the next three years; I'd been at Ault only seven months, and already, my loneliness felt physically exhausting.

Anyway, the important thing to remember about Ault is why you applied in the first place. It was for the academics, right? I don't know where you were before, but Ault beats the hell out of the public high school in my town. As for the politics here, what can you do? There's a lot of posturing, but it's all kind of meaningless.

the erroneous notion that if one choice, one plan, was hard and the other was easy, doing the hard thing was inherently better—worthier, more upstanding.

Really, we did not share a vocabulary that would allow for such a conversation; it was far too late to tell her anything.

I said, Do you think people in Arkansas are born more interesting than people in other places, or is it Southern storytelling that makes them more interesting? Oh, HIllary. Bill seemed delighted. We're just getting started.

I don't think everyone is equally haunted by high school, but I also don't think it's unusual to be.

Sometimes, there can be a slightly condescending assumption that anything unlikable about a female character is a mistake, as if they're a contestant in a beauty pageant and have to seem charming and upbeat all the time.

I never write something and consciously embed political commentary or any other kind of commentary. I just try to get the characters into a room or out of a room, or onto the plane, or through the grocery store. The political stuff, the class stuff, the gender stuff, is in the air, it's in their interactions, because it's there for all of us.

For 'Gender Studies,' I wrote that story in May and June of 2016. People have said to me, 'Oh, it's a political allegory,' and I think, 'Sure.' The political stuff is definitely there. But that's why I like fiction; there can be lots of different things going on, and it's all intertwined, and you can't separate out what's in what category.

A lot of times, in a store, clothes appear strange to me, their cuts or flourishes arbitrary. Why is this look stylish now? How long will it be stylish for? It's slightly embarrassing to admit this - because, as a novelist, I'm supposed to be observant - but I'm flummoxed by the way other women dress.

People who think my books are autobiographical, which they're not, credit me with having a much better memory than I do. I do, however, have a powerful imagination.

I always worried someone would notice me, and then when no one did, I felt lonely.

The better you learn to take care of yourself, the less you settle for being around people who can't or won't treat you as well as you're accustomed.

There are people we treat wrong and later we're prepared to treat other people right. Perhaps this sounds mercenary, but I feel grateful for these trial relationships, and I would like to think it all evens out - surely, unknowingly, I have served as practice for other people.

Anyone who's really interested in anything spends time alone.

We have to make mistakes, it's how we learn compassion for others.