Quotes from Gary Larson

I keep thinking someone's gonna show up and say, 'There's been a big mistake. The guy next door is supposed to be drawing the cartoon. Here's your shovel.'

My first month in syndication, I made about $100. I thought it would be exciting if I ever got up to the level where I could pay my rent.

By the time they had diminished from 50 to 8, the other dwarves began to suspect 'Hungry'.

With my own cartoon, it was just me being goofy by myself, but when it comes to an animated film, you're working with 45 animators and assistant animators. It's a whole different ballgame.

I've always thought the word cow was funny. And cows are sort of tragic figures. Cows blur the line between tragedy and humor.

The message is not so much that the worms will inherit the Earth, but that all things play a role in nature, even the lowly worm.

I never sat down and said, you know, what the world needs is a good, sick cartoonist.

You can get away with a lot as long as it has a silly edge to it.

I'm not into cartoons. That's the irony of it.

You know those little snow globes that you shake up? I always thought my brain was sort of like that. You know, where you just give it a shake and watch what comes out and shake it again. It's like that.

Great moments in science: Einstein discovers that time is actually money.

The Bluebird of Happiness long absent from his life, Ned is visited by the Chicken of Depression.

I don't believe in the concept of hell, but if I did I would think of it as filled with people who were cruel to animals.

Welcome to Hell. Here's your accordion.

You always hear a headline like this, 'Man Killed By Shark', you never hear it from the other perspective, 'Man Swims in Shark Infested Waters, Forgets He's Shark Food'.

I don't know where my ideas come from. I will admit, however, that one key ingredient is caffeine. I get a couple cups of coffee into me and weird things just start to happen.

If a tree falls in the woods, and nobody is around to hear it, and it hits a mime, does anyone care?

It is a known fact that the sheep that give us steel wool have no natural enemies.

Wait a minute! This is grass! We've been eating grass!

My drafting table, where I drew The Far Side for most of my career, faced a window that overlooked a beautiful garden; beyond the garden was a lake, and beyond the lake Mount Rainier rose majestically into the Washington sky. I worked at night.

Look out, everyone! ... We're being attacked by a giant sq ... well, no ... I'd say medium squid!

I actually find a lot of parallels in jazz and cartooning.

Simultaneously all three went for the ball, and the coconut-like sound of their heads colliding secretly delighted the bird.

If you're gonna shoot an elephant Mr. Schneider, you better be prepared to finish the job.