Quotes from Irvine Welsh

Might huv ehs ma's brains, cause ay his heid taperin backwards intae a point like a fuckin alien.

So what! So fuckin what! — So ye hud they powers, ye jist couldnae be bothered usin thum. That's why ah'm interested in ye Boab. You're jist like me. A lazy, apathetic, slovenly cunt. Now ah hate bein like this, n bein immortal, ah canny punish masel. Ah kin punish you though, mate. That's whit ah intend tae dae.

You never know if he's being ironic or dyslexic.

Pití je pro mladé, které jeÅ¡tÄ› netrápí myÅ¡lenky na smrt.

We all see what we want to see.

We are all acquaintances now

La vita si può capire solo riandando indietro, ma devi viverla andando avanti.

Then whit? - Git a job. Or git oan a scheme. - No gaunnae stey oan n take Highers? - Naw. - Ye should. You could go tae University. - Whit fir? Geoff had to think for a while. He had recently graduated with a degree in English Literature and was on the dole. So were most of his fellow graduates. - It's a good social life, he said.

I know that once I get moving I'll be fine even though I'm a little untidy FUCKIN DAEIN IT AGAIN!! Ah ken that once ah git movin ah'll be fine, even though ah'm a bit scruff order and ask tae borrow Gran's iron

if yir gaunny git hung fir stealin a sheep ye might as well shag it n aw.

Thir must be less tae life than this.

It seems to go beyond our personal junk circumstances; a brilliant metaphor for our times.

Statistically speaking, he reflects, you're more likely to be killed by a member of your own family or a close friend, than by anyone else.

Analisar um romance significava destruir sua alma, e isso tava arruinando o prazer que eles me davam. Eu não podia me submeter a um treinamento pra pensar daquela maneira. Eu precisava me recusar a estudar literatura pra conseguir preservar minha paixão por ela.

Ah wis gaunny say thit Tommy hud a choice; wee Maria disnae. Aw that would huv done wis precipitate an argument aboot whair choice began and ended. How many shots does it take before the concept ay choice becomes obsolete? Wish tae fuck ah knew. Wish tae fuck ah knew anything.

Awright Al? I asked him. A silly question really. Convention always imposes its lunacy on us at such inappropriate times.

Estás jodido?, pregunto. No lo sé. Si te soy sincro, será el sexo lo que más echaré de menos. Eso y el tener a alguien, ¿sabes? Tommy necesita a la gente mucho más que la mayoría.

Fuck that: take shagging n peeve oot ay the equation n yir left wi the sqare root ay swee fuck all!

Another cunt oaf ma fuckin Christmas caird list. -Didnae ken ye kept a list, likesay, Franco... -Every cunt keeps a fuckn list. He taps his heid, -A Christmas caird list, n that cunt's fuckin well oaf it!

It unsettles the women as they have dropped their disguise and are now giant praying mantis with blonde and auburn wigs, lipstick smeared on those deadly pincher-like insect jaws.

As difficult it is tae conceive ay it at the moment, ah may yet find other uses for the organ, besides pishing.

One ay the nicest cunts ye could hope tae meet.

These foreign cunts've goat trouble wi the Queen's fuckin English, ken.

Buckin' is one ay Na Na's favourite words likesay, along wi 'pish'. Naebody says 'pish' like Na Na. She sortay drags oot the sssshhh, it's likesay, ye kin see the steam rising oaf the yellay jet as it hits the white porcelain, ken?