Quotes from Douglas Coupland

Tofu hot dogs are actually scarier than real hot dogs. It's like wanting the worst possible meat product without even the thrill of it actually being meat.

I'm a visual thinker. Research tells us that only 20 per cent of people think visually. So what about the other 80 per cent? Don't they think in pictures? I mean if you imagine washing and preparing potatoes you visualise the process, right?

I know it's not cat food, but what exactly is it that they put inside of tinned ravioli?

Those Catholics, they really nab you when you're young. They sear you. They sear you; they do.

People will always choose more money over more sex.

Forget about being world famous, it's hard enough just getting the automatic doors at the supermarket to acknowledge our existence.

I always thought of words as art supplies.

The heart of a man is like deep water

Every single moment is a coincidence.

Big companies are like marching bands. Even if half the band is playing random notes, it still sounds kind of like music. The concealment of failure is built into them.

I think we're simply going to run out of Nature before we have a chance to destroy it.

Nature is one great big wood-chipper. Sooner or later, everything shoots out the other end in a spray of blood, bones and hair.

Sometimes the best lighting of all is a power failure.

The Internet has made me very casual with a level of omniscience that was unthinkable a decade ago. I now wonder if God gets bored knowing the answer to everything.

If God drives a car, He'd drive a 1973 Ford LTD Brougham sedan with a claret-colored vinyl roof, with oxblood leather upholstery and an opera window.

What if God exists except it turns out he doesn't really like people very much?

Venice Beach: proof of the biological impossibility of imagining a person being simultaneously good-looking and poor.

So much information lacks a good way to store it, especially when it's all digital; sometimes it requires old technology to go back and retrieve it.

Unhappiness is something we are never taught about; we are taught to expect happiness, but never a Plan B to use to use when the happiness doesn't arrive.

To have a healthy culture, you have to have stable health care financing and stable arts financing and stable sports financing, and if you don't have that, your culture becomes a parking lot.

We live in an era with no historical precedents. History is no longer useful as a tool in helping us understand current changes.

What surprises me about humanity is that in the end such a narrow range of plights defines our moral lives.

Aliens didn't come down to Earth and give us technology. We invented it ourselves. Therefore it can never be alienating it can only be an expression of our humanity.

Hi! I'm Ethan, I shop at Ikea. I bought a $300 dining suite and it took me three days to assemble!