Quotes from Jennifer Coolidge

Meryl Streep was my hero. I wanted to be that type of actor more than anything.

Short of spending $10,000, there is nothing you can do to your head to hide the fact that you're going bald.

I have a storage unit, as I moved out of a bigger house into a smaller house in L.A. I put all my stuff in a storage unit, where I have the most amazing collection of bad paintings, which took me 10 years to put together.

The standup thing has been really fun, really seeing the United States instead of reading about it.

Standup is just dirtier, a far more risque kind of thing.

I don't know what I am. I guess you can call me a character actor in the sense that I'll never be an ingenue. You know, that's over. My shot was missed. I take a normal person and make them more of a character. I don't know what that would be called.

There's something about me that suggests I don't have an intelligent atom in me at all. So people say things to me that they wouldn't say to other people. Insulting, condescending things. They don't think I notice. But, of course, I'm taking it all in.

When you're on this major English estate, breathing in the English air, and it's untouched, you can feel its presence. It's a whole different feel. It really felt like we were there living it. It didn't feel modern, ever.

Some people are really nice about it. I get Saudi princes and famous people stopping me in L.A. and saying, 'You're Stifler's mom. Can I take a picture with you?' But then you get people like her putting their camera in your face without asking. They think they can do whatever they like.

The odd things that people say to you are so much more hilarious than what you can come up with.

I'm so vain, all I could think was I should have stopped at 'American Pie.'

Sometimes, you have no idea why something works and other times, you put so much work and effort into something and it just falls flat.

Stand-up is a weird animal. There are people who really want to know what you think about things, your opinion on life. But then there are people who think you're just that beautician in 'Legally Blonde,' who doesn't have opinions on anything. Or that I'm Stifler's mom and hot for it all the time.

If you're playing a character that someone doesn't like, that's okay, but if you're voicing your own opinions, they actually don't like you!

Werner Herzog, when I auditioned for 'Bad Lieutenant,' he had never seen any of my films. He thought I was this actress living in New Orleans and it was my first job.

Las Vegas honors women - Celine Dion, Bette Midler, Britney Spears. I love that Las Vegas celebrates women.

You get the older version of women that you've played before.

I wasn't very good in my serious acting class. Sometimes people took our class so seriously, so I used to, sort of, make fun of people after class. And so a friend of mine said, 'Why don't you do the comedy thing.' That's how it all worked out.

I've been many people. I've been the skinny girl. I've been the fat girl. Because I've become a character actress, I sort of fell victim to 'Well, I don't have to look good anymore.'

Younger guy are attracted to a strong quality.

Usually, when you're an actress, you have to audition 20 times.

I wanted to be a dramatic actress. Life doesn't go the way you think it's going to go.

If I wasn't an actress and I wasn't Stifler's mom, my life would be so dull.

There are some people who make you feel less lonely.