Quotes from Ben Miller

My kids are blissfully unaware of anything I do. I asked my four-year-old, Harrison, what I did, and he said, 'You're an electrician.' He must have seen me changing a lightbulb.

Every meal is so important and colours the rest of your day - my whole day can go into a spin if I make the wrong choice at lunchtime!

I'm prepared to try to talk to a very beautiful girl. I learned a fantastic secret, which is that the most beautiful woman in the room is not being spoken to because she's too intimidating. They're not looking for somebody beautiful; they're looking for somebody to amuse them.

I love the basic comedy of growing a moustache.

Life is a mystery: you've just got to go with it.

Galactic plankton is undoubtedly out there, but it's statistically highly likely there's also another intelligent civilisation out there somewhere. Unfortunately, the distances and time differences are so great, communication might remain impossible.

For my mother, everything stands in relation to her Welshness; the fact she married an Englishman seems to be something of an issue. She's kind of anti-English... anti-imperialist.

I'd like to have a neck. Everyone else has a neck, but I never got one; I don't know what happened. I'm not asking for much: just some sort of separation between my head and my body would be great.

As an actor, it's good to try to do new things, I think.

My enthusiasm for L.A. stems from my father, who was a lecturer in American literature at the University of Birmingham. Through his work, our family did several house swaps with L.A. families. It was a dreadfully daring thing to do in the early 1980s; there was no Internet, so you had no idea of what you were getting into.

I like to think of myself as focused in work, but it probably comes across as obsessive.

The one thing that makes me laugh about the phrase 'the worst week of my life' is that nobody actually uses that phrase when something really bad happens.

I'm afraid I'm very optimistic - and moralistic.

We all know to eat green vegetables and oily fish, but who does that? I'll have a cake, thanks.

I was on holiday in Ibiza, having a lovely time, writing a book and looking at the stars every night and generally not having a care in the world. Then I got sent the script for 'Death in Paradise.' I couldn't get back to England in time for the auditions, so my girlfriend filmed me on her camera, and I sent it off via email.

Oh, I assure you, science is anything but boring.

Nobody wants to get divorced.

For me, one of the things art has to examine is how to live your life, and unless it's doing that, it doesn't work for me.