Quotes from Sophie Kinsella

When he was EIGHT. Anne, do you know what teenage parties are like? What if they knife each other and have sex on the trampoline?

He said when you use your brain, no-one comes near you for ingenuity

Not a cute little whimper. Not a plaintive little wail. A full-throated, piercing "This Woman Has Kidnapped Me, Call the Cops scream.

A cold dismay creeps over me. Oh okay, maybe I did once kind of pretend I had a stalker. Which I shouldn't have done. But I mean, just because you invent one tiny stalker - that doesn't make you a complete nut case, does it?

It's a big step, moving to a new city, especially a city as extreme as New York. It's not the same as London... I know, I nod. You have to get your nails done.

Silence is great. It's peaceful. It's something we all need, in this hectic modern life, silence.

I would go so far as to say I can't seem to build the life I want without you. Nothing fits.

My aunt grows special rhubarb in dark sheds. They keep it dark and warm all winter and harvest it by candlelight and it's the best stuff. She sells it for a fortune, btw.

People drive by in their colorful convertibles with the roof down, looking all relaxed and friendly, as if you might stroll up to them while they're pausing at the light and start a conversation. It's the opposite of Britain, where everyone's in their own self-contained metal box, swearing at the rain.

He's not a food fascist," I say, feeling an immediate need to defend Eric. "He just…cares about nutrition." "He's Hitler. If he could round up every loaf of bread and put it in a camp, he would.

This is my new guiding principle: Find a man of quality. Not a man who excites me but one who values me. Not a man who takes me to the moon and then vanishes off to New York but one who takes me to…Bracknell, maybe.

The other person always has a point, Listen to each other, and you'll hear it.

So why do they hope ?' I can't help asking. 'Because it's human nature to hope for impossible things.

You can't fix something if you're hiding from it.

These academic guys have to feel important. They give papers and present TV programs to show they're useful and valuable. But you do useful, valuable work every day. You don't need to prove anything. How many people have you treated? Hundreds. You've reduced their pain. You've made hundreds of people happier. Has Antony Tavish made anyone happier?" I'm sure there's something wrong

OK.Now, I may be engaged, but I'm not going to get carried away.

I think I've finally worked out how to feel good about life. Every time you see someone's bright-and-shiny, remember: they have their own crappy truths, too. Of course they do. And every time you see tour own crappy truth and feel despair and think: Is this my life...? You should remember: it's not. Everyone's got a bright-and-shiny, even if it's hard to find sometimes.

But, come on, even the waiting list for that new Prada bag was only a year. No school can be more exclusive than a limited-edition Prada bag, surely?

London is one of the most fascinating, historic, amazing cities in the world!

I trail away into silence. I've just shared details of my condom use with my son's teacher. I'm not sure how that happened.

If Muhammad won't come to the mountain, the mountain has to cancel all his plans and get on a plane.

I feel scalded inside. Like, third-degree burns. But no one can see them. (Fliss talking about her divorce.)

And, no, they haven't done it. I put him out of his misery. Done what? asks Noah. Put the sausage in the cupcake, says Lorcan, draining his coffee. Lorcan! I snap. Don't say things like that! Noah explodes with laughter. Put the sausage in the cupcake! he crows. The sausage in the cupcake! Great. I glare at Lorcan, who stares back, unmoved. And, anyway, cupcake? I've never heard it called that.

What if our children are all super-bright and I can't understand what they're saying and they look down on me because I haven't got a PhD?