Quotes from Sophie Kinsella

God, real people are so disappointing. I'm sure she would have done it better in the box-set version.

This is Christmas," he says, pointing at the happy line of Whos. "Remember? Friends and family gathered together, celebrating. Not presents, not piñatas, people." "I know, but—" "Whatever the Grinch can steal, that's not Christmas," asserts Luke.

He said that he and Mum had often talked about the kind of man I would marry, and they'd always disagreed on everything except one thing - he'll have to be on his toes. Then he looked at Luke, who obligingly got up and turned a pirouette, and everyone roared with laughter.

I'm allergic to everything contact." "No you're not," he says at once. "You're not allergic to brain contact. I mean you write notes. You talk. You still want to talk to people, you just can't. So your body needs to catch up with your brain.

Shit. My Fitbit's stopped working. Is it the battery?" Tilda clicks with annoyance. "How many steps have we done?" She bangs her Fitbit. "It doesn't count unless it goes on my Fitbit. I might as well not have bothered." Tilda's Fitbit is her latest obsession. For a while it was Instagram, and our daily walk was punctuated by her taking endless photos of raindrops on leaves. Now it's steps.

She somehow understands that I have to know how Seb is, because I feel this strange, inextricable link to him. Which isn't a relationship-- God, of course not. We're not even friends, really. It's just... it's a different kind of thing. A yearning. A tugging in my heart. A need to be with him and know that he's OK. I mean, what would you call that?

But even bitterness fades away eventually. We both have to believE that. Don't we?

How many divorces are caused by the word nothing? I think this would be a very interesting statistic.

OK, I have to make sure we're on the same page here. Because I might mean one thing and she might mean, intending to start a Cordon Bleu course when I get back to England.

Alex is still silent and glowering. Which I can understand. I've made his life a lot more complicated. People hate that.

I never used to be scared. But over the last few years, I've gradually got more and more nervous. I know it's completely irrational.

Everyone knows, the point of an interview is not to demonstrate who you are, but to pretend to be whatever sort of person they want for the job.

Mrs Brandon.' The sonographer cuts me off. 'You're talking to your bladder.

Stop explaining how impossible it is, stop making endless excuses, stop faffing around…and just do it!

She looked like a mean newsreader." I put on an exaggerated TV voice. "Hello. This is the Mean News. You're all rubbish and I despise you.

He's hopeless," sighs Suze. "You know, he can name about a hundred breeds of sheep but not one of Madonna's husbands.

I've seen bright, intelligent girls, waiting and hoping…" She shakes her head. "They know deep down he'll never come back." "So why do they hope?" I can't help asking. "Because it's human nature to hope for impossible things.

Io non mi sono mai sentita vecchia. Nessuno si sente vecchio. [...] Io mi sono sempre sentita così: una ragazza di vent'anni, per tutta la vita. L'aspetto esteriore è solo... un involucro»

head into the children's bedroom, where our babysitter, Teri, is presiding over a massive game of Twister. Minnie doesn't understand Twister, but she understands rolling around on the mat, getting in everyone's way, so that's what she's doing.

Toda mi familia se crece con la presión. Es como el lema familiar, o algo así. Con la excepción de mi hermano Peter, desde luego, que sufrió una crisis nerviosa. Pero a los demás nos sienta de maravilla, en serio.

Además, todo el mundo sabe que los chinos viven más tiempo que nosotros, así que ¿cómo no va a ser saludable alimentarse de comida china? Y la pizza es mediterránea. Seguro que es más sana que muchas cosas que la gente toma en su casa.

Husband disappeared? Order in your lover instead.

Todo esse negócio de ser misterioso e distante é uma grande besteira. Todo mundo deveria compartilhar os segredos logo de cara.

Yes, Ermintrude." I muster a smile. "Ermintrude the hamster." The spotlight finally moves off me, and Dix Donahue comes to the end of his speech, and I look up to see Luke giving me a little wink as he approaches through the crowd. "I'll get you a new hamster this Christmas, darling," he says over the sound of applause. "We'll fight the discrimination together. If you can be brave enough, so can I.