Quotes from Sophie Kinsella

And we spend the rest of the evening getting very pissed and eating ice cream, as we always do when something good or bad happens to either one of us.

Jeez Louise. I know why rich people are so thin: it's from trekking around their humongous houses the whole time.

You know what Hans told me last week? she says as I open the door of my fitting room. He told me to write down a list of everything I wanted to say about that women-and then tear it up. He said I'd feel a sense of freedom. Oh right, I say interestedly. So what happened? I wrote it all down, says Laurel. And then I mailed it to her!

Oh, my God, you smiled! Mr. American Frown actually smiled! Must have been a mistake. I'll speak to someone about it. Won't happen again. Well, good. Because you could do your face and injury, just smiling like that.

I think a relationship is like two stories," I say at last, feeling my way cautiously through my thoughts. "Like…two open books, pressing together, and all the words mingle into one big, epic story. But if they stop mingling…" I lift my glass for emphasis. "Then they turn into two stories again. And that's when it's over." I clap my hands together, spilling champagne. "The books shut. The End.

She's been used to hiding her feelings for so long, no wonder her manner can be a little awkward.

Wow. So you didn't expect it? No. Not at all. Were you like, 'Fuck!

It is absolutely what I think.' He looks deadly serious now. 'These academic guys have to feel important. They give papers and present TV programmes to show they're useful and valuable. But you do useful, valuable work every day. You don't need to prove anything. How many people have you treated? Hundreds. You've reduced their pain. You've made hundreds of people happier. Has Antony Tavish ever made anyone happier?

We're just... friends. No, friends doesn't feel right. Not colleagues either. Not really acquaintances... OK. Let's face it. It's weird.

I can't bring myself to move. Because as soon as I do, it will be time to be polite and matter-of-fact and back to normal. And I can't bear that. I want to stay here. In the place where we can say anything to each other. In the magic spell.

I have no idea what to say next. I don't speak Japanese, I don't know anything about Japanese business or Japanese culture. Apart from sushi. But I can't exactly go up to him and say Sushi! out of the blue. It would be like going up to a top American businessman and saying T-bone steak!

I learned that failing doesn't mean you are a failure; it just means you're a human being.

I want him. I'm sorry? I peer at her, flicking my mobile open out of habit. The man I just met. I felt it, right here. The sizzle. She presses her concave stomach. I want to dance with him.

Ciao, I say casually, and flick my hair back. Si. Ciao. I could so be Italian. Except I might have to learn a few more words.

Why can't parents dance? Is it some universal law of physics or something?

Oh, please. If she's going to use Mr. Darcy to prop up her arguments, I give up.

The atmosphere in the admin department also seemed very false. My suspicions were aroused when two employees spontaneously started singing the Panther Corporation song. I didn't even know there was a Panther Corporation song.

There are some things I don't understand about Jess and never will. No wedding dress. No flowers. No photo album. No champagne. The only thing she got out of her wedding was a husband. (I mean, obviously the husband is the main point when you get married. Absolutely. That goes without saying. But still, not even a new pair of shoes?)

You get self-obsessed when you're ill. You can't see anything around you.

I can do this, I tell myself firmly. I can be attracted to him. It's just a matter of self control and possibly also getting very drunk. So I lift my glass and take several huge gulps. I can feel the bubbles surging into my head, singing happily I'm going to be a millionaire's wife! I'm going to be a millionaire's wife! And when I look back at Tarquin, he already looks a bit more attractive. Alcohol is obviously going to be the key to our marital status.

Obviously this is engagement ring city. Couples are wandering along and girls are pointing through the windows and the men are smiling but all look slightly sick whenever their girlfriends turn away.

Life would be a lot easier if conversations were rewindable and erasable, like videos.

Just because of that one disastrous blind date she had last year, where the guy turned out to be fifty-nine, not thirty-nine (He claimed it was a typo. Yeah, I'm sure his finger just happened to slip two spaces to the left).

We both gaze down at my swollen tummy for a while. I still can't quite get my head round the fact that there's a baby inside my body. Which has got to come out... somehow. OK, let's not go there. There's still time for them to invent something.