Quotes from James Acaster

Every comic delves into the personal archive when their imagination runs dry.

There's no excuse for panel games, other TV comedy shows, or even live bills to be made up mainly of men.

There's not many comedy characters that make me laugh as much as The Rock does; it's nice to have a big muscly guy being funny and stupid.

I thought, 'Anyone can make up a lie, but making the truth funny is really hard.' But I actually had more problems with people believing me when I told the truth on stage.

There were plenty of times before I did stand-up where I needed counselling, but I didn't go because it would have meant I was officially ill.

People like abstract art because it makes them feel clever.

If people leave the house wanting to see a comedian, they want to see someone speak out for themselves and share true stories from their life.

The comic I can now never enjoy again is Bill Cosby. He was truly one of the first comedians I got into.

Everyone was wearing jeans, so I started wearing slacks. I'd walk on, and people would laugh before I got to the mic because I looked stupid.

I absolutely loathe sleeping in a tent, regardless of the weather.

I remember being four or five, not understanding how to be funny, so just going around the house and my mum and dad's friends, confusing adults by saying weird things.

I think I can draw both a mainstream audience and an alternative audience to my shows. I also have the ability to disappoint both.

Because such a massive part of stand-up is trying and failing first, I'm not putting as much pressure on. Just going out and doing it is enough.

Every year in Edinburgh, I end up waiting behind the curtain about to go on stage, and I have a moment of thinking, 'No one's told me what to do with this show. I've done exactly what I wanted. This is the biggest arts festival in the world, and all these people have shown up. Aren't I lucky?' It really is amazing.

My parents are very good examples of Christians. They are big on forgiveness.

I thought comedians were the funny guy in the common room, not understanding that the flaws in my personality were actually the funny things about me.

If you just focus on getting better, and not being the best, you have such a good time.

I thought all good art is you doing exactly what you want to see. I didn't realise that's not even what I really like about art. Bands I liked weren't doing just what they want to do: they were finding their common ground with them and me.

I used to work with autistic children, and they said a lot of funny things to me.

Certain celebs manage to worm their way out of the spotlight, and I won't stand for that.

I'd say I get heckled quite a lot because I look quite like an easy target. If you're an alpha-male and you think you've got something to prove to your girlfriend, I think I'm the perfect person to prove your worth.

I grew up with interesting and funny people. We made our own fun. You had to use your imagination.

What if every relationship you've ever been in, is someone slowly figuring out they didn't like you as much as they hoped they would?

Ross Noble at the Leicester De Montfort Hall on his Randomist tour - it's the only time I've hurt from laughing at a standup comedian.