Quotes from George Bernard Shaw

An Irishman's heart is nothing but his imagination.

Except during the nine months before he draws his first breath, no man manages his affairs as well as a tree does.

You may remember that on earth—though of course we never confessed it—the death of anyone we knew, even those we liked best, was always mingled with a certain satisfaction at being finally done with them.

We want a few mad people now. See where the sane ones have landed us!

MRS PEARCE. Mr Higgins: youre tempting the girl. It's not right. She should think of the future. HIGGINS. At her age! Nonsense! Time enough to think of the future when you havnt any future to think of.

Those who do not know how to live must make a merit of dying.

You don't get tired of muffins. But you don't find inspiration in them

Soldiering, my dear madam, is the coward's art of attacking mercilessly when you are strong, and keeping out of harm's way when you are weak. That is the whole secret of successful fighting. Get your enemy at a disadvantage; and never, on any account, fight him on equal terms.

the beauty and nobility, the august mission and destiny, of human handwriting.

The fickleness of the women I love is only equaled by the infernal constancy of the women who love me.

From a very early age, I've had to interrupt my education to go to school.

When the horrors of anarchy force us to set up laws that forbid us to fight and torture one another for sport, we still snatch at every excuse for declaring individuals outside the protection of law and torturing them to our hearts content.

Peace is not only better than war, but infinitely more arduous.

Physically there is nothing to distinguish human society from the farm-yard except that children are more troublesome and costly than chickens and calves and that men and women are not so completely enslaved as farm stock.

BRITANNUS (shocked). Caesar: this is not proper. THEODOTUS (outraged). How! CAESAR (recovering his self-possession). Pardon him. Theodotus: he is a barbarian, and thinks that the customs of his tribe and island are the laws of nature.

A man's interest in the world is only the overflow from his interest in himself.

The 100% American is 99% idiot.

If if's and and's were pots and pans, there'd be no need for tinkers.

The American white relegates the black to the rank of shoeshine boy; and he concludes from this that the black is good for nothing but shining shoes.

Mirovên geÅŸbîn û reÅŸbîn, her du jî ji bo civakê pêwîst in. GeÅŸbîn balafirê didahêne; reÅŸbîn sîwana rizgariyê.

Schools and schoolmasters, as we have them today, are not popular as places of education and teachers, but rather prisons and turnkeys in which children are kept to prevent them disturbing and chaperoning their parent.

We know now that the soul is the body, and the body the soul. They tell us they are different because they want to persuade us that we can keep our souls if we let them make slaves of our bodies.

No, really: I can't fight, I never could. I can't bring myself to dislike anyone enough.

Old men are dangerous: it doesn't matter to them what is going to happen to the world.