Quotes from George Bernard Shaw

Success covers a multitude of blunders.

Pickering: Have you no morals, man?Doolittle: Can't afford them, Governor.

The greatest thing in life is to die young — but delay it as long as possible.

It is impossible for an Englishman to open his mouth, without making some other Englishman hate or despise him; English is not accessible even to Englishmen.

I hope you have lost your good looks, for while they last any fool can adore you, and the adoration of fools is bad for the soul. No, give me a ruined complexion and a lost figure and sixteen chins on a farmyard of Crow's feet and an obvious wig. Then you shall see me coming out strong.

Gin was mother's milk to her.

Newspapers are unable, seemingly, to discriminate between a bicycle accident and the collapse of civilisation.

Think of the fierce energy concentrated in an acorn! You bury it in the ground, and it explodes into an oak! Bury a sheep, and nothing happens but decay.

I am a Millionaire. That is my religion.

The churches must learn humility as well as teach it.

I like a bit of mongrel myself, whether it's a man or a dog; they're the best for everyday.

Cruelty must be whitewashed by a moral excuse, and pretense of reluctance.

If you strike a child, take care that you strike it in anger, even at the risk of maiming it for life. A blow in cold blood neither can nor should be forgiven.

The only man I know who behaves sensibly is my tailor; he takes my measurements anew each time he sees me. The rest go on with their old measurements and expect me to fit them.

If you can't get rid of the skeleton in your closet, you'd best teach it to dance.

People become attached to their burdens sometimes more than the burdens are attached to them.

It is a noteworthy fact that kicking and beating have played so considerable a part in the habits which necessity has imposed on mankind in past ages that the only way of preventing civilized men from beating and kicking their wives is to organize games in which they can kick and beat balls.

With the single exception of Homer, there is no eminent writer, not even Sir Walter Scott, whom I can despise so entirely as I despise Shakespeare when I measure my mind against his…. It would positively be a relief to me to dig him up and throw stones at him.

The love of economy is the root of all virtue.

A mind of the calibre of mine cannot derive its nutriment from cows.

It is the mark of a truly intelligent person to be moved by statistics.

Statistics show that of those who contract the habit of eating, very few survive.