Quotes from George Bernard Shaw

Home life as we understand it is no more natural to us than a cage is natural to a cockatoo.

I am a gentleman: I live by robbing the poor.

Let a short Act of Parliament be passed, placing all street musicians outside the protection of the law, so that any citizen may assail them with stones, sticks, knives, pistols, or bombs without incurring any penalties.

Life is a disease; and the only diference between one another is the stage of the disease at which he lives.

Life isn't about finding yourself. Life is about creating yourself.

Make money and the whole nation will conspire to call you a gentleman.

Man can climb to the highest summits, but he cannot dwell there long.

Martyrdom is the only way a person can become famous without ability.

Money enables us to get what we want instead of what other people think we want.

My way of joking is to tell the truth. It is the funniest joke in the world.

No man fully capable of his own language ever masters another.

Nobel prize money is a lifebelt thrown to a swimmer who has already reached the shore in safety.

Nothing ever is done in this world until men are prepared to kill one another if it is not done.

Nothing is worth doing unless the consequences may be serious.

One man that has a mind and knows it can always beat ten men who haven't and don't.

Popular Christianity has for its emblem a gibbet, for its chief sensation a sanginary execution after torture, for its central mystery is an insane vengeance bought off by a trumpery expiation. But there is a nobler and profounder Christianity which affirms the sacred mystery of equality and forbids the glaring futility and folly of vengeance.

Reviewing has one advantage over suicide: in suicide you take it out on yourself; in reviewing you take it out on other people.

Swindon What will history say Burgoyne History, sir, will tell lies as usual.

Take the utmost trouble to find the right thing to say, and then say it with the utmost levity.

The 100% American is 99% an idiot.

The American Constitution, one of the few modern political documents drawn up by men who were forced by the sternest circumstances to think out what they really had to face, instead of chopping logic in a university classroom.

The art of government is the organization of idolatry.

The best reformers the world has ever seen are those who commence on themselves.

The chief objection of playing wind instruments is that it prolongs the life of the player.