Quotes from George Bernard Shaw

Success does not consist in never making mistakes but in never making the same one a second time.

A Native American elder once described his own inner struggles in this manner: Inside of me there are two dogs. One of the dogs is mean and evil. The other dog is good. The mean dog fights the good dog all the time. When asked which dog wins, he reflected for a moment and replied, The one I feed the most.

I am enclosing two tickets to the first night of my new play; bring a friend ... if you have one." — George Bernard Shaw, playwright (to Winston Churchill) "Cannot possibly attend first night; will attend second, if there is one." — Churchill's response

Patriotism is, fundamentally, a conviction that a particular country is the best in the world because you were born in it....

You use a glass mirror to see your face; you use works of art to see your soul.

He knows nothing; and he thinks he knows everything. That points clearly to a political career.

A pessimist is a man who thinks everybody is as nasty as himself, and hates them for it.

Dancing is a perpendicular expression of a horizontal desire.

My way of joking is to tell the truth. It's the funniest joke in the world.

If you have an apple and I have an apple and we exchange these apples then you and I will still each have one apple. But if you have an idea and I have an idea and we exchange these ideas, then each of us will have two ideas.

After all, the wrong road always leads somewhere.

The play was a great success, but audience was a dismal failure.

The reasonable man adapts himself to the world; the unreasonable one persists in trying to adapt the world to himself.

You have learned something. That always feels at first as if you had lost something.

The test of a man or woman's breeding is how they behave in a quarrel.

I am a Millionaire. That is my religion.

All professions are a conspiracy against the country.

She had lost the art of conversation, but not, unfortunately, the power of speech.

The faults of the burglar are the qualities of the financier.

It is easy - terribly easy - to shake a man's faith in himself. To take advantage of that, to break a man's spirit is devil's work.

I am only a beer teetotaller, not a champagne teetotaller.

It is impossible for an Englishman to open his mouth without making some other Englishman despise him.

fights you on patriotic principles; he robs you on business principles; he enslaves you on imperial principles.

An Englishman thinks he is moral when he is only uncomfortable.