Quotes from Howard Stern

Every time I went on the radio, I would take the crummiest radio station, the station that was like a toilet bowl. I would go on there and build up the ratings, so you couldn't do any worse.

Relationships are based on trust until you meet someone new.

I seem to be some sort of lightning rod. I just really irritate people, you know? I really do.

It's no treat being in bed with me.

And rather than hide that, I would rather put that out on the radio and let someone see the full range of emotions. If you're going to be strong on the radio, you got to let it all out, even the ugly stuff. And you can't apologize for it.

It's okay for a man to commit adultery if his wife is ugly.

I think people of lesser talent will become stars.

I've never come into anything successful before. I've always been hired by horrible radio stations with horrendous reputations and nothing to lose.

When you hire me, you hire a nut who is going to work 24 hours a day for you and never, ever burn his audience.

I believe I am doing the work for humanity. This show is so uplifting.

It causes me great pain to sue the company I work for. Nevertheless, I had to do it. Suffice it to say, there's a dispute and I believe I haven't been given what is mine.

'The New York Times' list is a bunch of crap. They ought to call it the editor's choice. It sure isn't based on sales.

I'm sickened by all religions. Religion has divided people. I don't think there's any difference between the pope wearing a large hat and parading around with a smoking purse and an African painting his face white and praying to a rock.

Yes, I believe blue material is funny, but if that's all you've got, you're dead in the water. It's not good.

If you're a Christian you don't sit there and worry about what somebody else is doing, if they're happy and they're committed in a relationship.

I wanted to go hide. I wasn't looking to be more famous, I'm famous enough.

I always resented the label of 'shock jock' that the press came up with for me. Because I never intentionally set out to shock anybody.

Most of the things I do are misunderstood. Hey, after all, being misunderstood is the fate of all true geniuses, is it not?

I'm sickened by all religions. Religion has divided people. I don't think there's any difference between the pope wearing a large hat and parading around with a smoking purse and an African painting his face white and praying to a rock.

Why be uptight about bowel movements and sex? We all have sex. We all have penises -- except for those of us who have vaginas.

Look at you.

Mike Walker is the Hemingway of gossip.

There's a saying that my mom actually used to say to me when I was a kid, which is, "A fatherless child thinks all things are possible and nothing is safe.

But it comes from someplace that knows who you are. I think that we can decide if we can be great or not.