Quotes from Chris Gethard

The bad you see in N.Y.C. is troubling to know when it rears its ugly head.

I moved to Queens from New Jersey in 2004 and have continued to stick with New York to such a degree that when people ask me to explain it, I'm sometimes unable to provide an answer.

I classify myself as a comedian, but I'm one of those comedians who also acts so that I can split the difference and feel insecure about both.

People who get lucky, also tend to be really great looking, which is luck on some level, but it is also just the fact of the matter.

There's a teacher at the Renzo Gracie Academy in New York named John Danaher. He's leading this whole group of fighters named the Danaher Death Squad, and they're revolutionizing how that world works. I actually went and signed up for classes mostly because, man, if there's innovation like that happening in New York, I want to be around it.

I'm very happy with my decision to go sober. It's helped my life. It's helped my mental stability.

Shows are my saving grace. In between actual jobs, the only thing that keeps me sane is the knowledge that I can go up on stages.

When I was growing up, I think I was expected to be seen and not heard. You're this little, nerdy kid; no one wants to hear about how sad you are. Nobody wants to hear that you feel lonely.

I'm a dummy from New Jersey.

I do not like confrontations in New York City.

If you are dating someone in New York City, and they invite you over to watch a movie, they don't really want to watch a movie.

Anyone who lives in N.Y.C. will tell you that getting into a confrontation on a city street is a complete nightmare 100 percent of the time.

Sometimes we get bored and want to shake up our format. It's a luxury we have on public access - no one cares about us. It literally doesn't matter if we fail, so sometimes we try to go really big and out of the box.

Cops are everywhere in New York City. Cars drive by every few minutes. Uniforms stand nonchalantly at street corners.

I grew up a loser, and I always felt like one, but I turned out pretty okay. I may be living proof that you can spend your whole life feeling like you're falling down a set of steps and still maybe land on your feet at the bottom.

As a stand-up, as a storyteller, as an improviser, I've done thousands of shows. They allow me to work out new material that might turn into something later. They let me keep my muscles sharp for when the rent-paying gigs do come along. They keep me sane.

I've always been really open onstage.

Anyone who's ever been around an emergency in Manhattan realizes that there are plainclothes officers on these streets walking past us more than we ever realize.

I can legitimately say without being arrogant that there's probably a stretch where I was one of the better teachers of improv in the country.

I think what I have learned is you can't avoid losing. You're going to strike out a million times. The whole point is not to dodge losing - it's to learn how to lose well.

The UCB has long been known as a hub of the best comedy in New York City, but it's never been the most well organized or cared for place in the world.

I am a stereotypical northeasterner. I'm always in a rush. I've attracted stares from out-of-towners when I've shoved past someone blocking the subway door.

Any notable moments spent on a subway usually do nothing more than expose human awfulness at its most pronounced.

The best advice I've gotten in terms of that was someone who said, "People will surprise you if you let them."