Quotes from Joan Crawford

Females are born flirts. I've watched my three girls flirting almost from the time they were able to get their eyes opened and they could focus. They cooed at men, fluttered around them—and flattered them. But once girls get themselves married they forget the romance—and that's when the flirting should really begin. If you want to keep your husband, that is. A lot of other women are flirting with him and flattering him—you can depend on that.

There's a well-known Hollywood personality who claims that she loses weight by being hypnotized into hating the food that's bad for her. I did that to myself while I was still in my teens and saved some very big hypnotist's fees.

There should always be a precious time together at the end of the working day. Turn off the phone, ignore the door, pour a glass of wine or fruit juice. Shed the world and learn about each other in your own romantic oasis.

Of course no diets as rigid as those should be continued for more than two weeks. Some diet 'experts' — the ones who are still trying new ones because they haven't succeeded — tell you to diet five days a week and take the weekends off. I guess that's all right if you don't go berserk with chocolate éclairs and beer on Saturday and Sunday.

The really faddish diets — like subsisting solely on bananas —seem to have gone out of vogue. […] We need a little of everything, including some at. The only thing it's all right to skip is starchy food, because there's a healthy amount of carbohydrate in fruits and vegetables.

Make your husband talk about his work. Drag it out of him, if you have to. But, you're saying, my husband's a cashier. How can I take an interest in that? Well, for openers, you might say, "Any holdups today?" And go on to find out what keeping books is all about. What an auditor is. Follow changes in tax laws in the daily newspaper. You might even find all this fascinating. He has to.

I never touch sweets. I'd much rather have a dill pickle - if I ever ate ice cream I'm sure I'd surround it with pickles. […] I never touch potatoes because I learned a long time ago not to like what made me fat. I honestly believe that I don't like potatoes...

If I'm lunching with tolerant friends I eat green onions, and I like to nibble on raw carrot sticks. I certainly prefer them to fancy hors d'oeuvres. Fish is a wonderful beauty food. […] I like it best straight out of the sea, when I'm in the Islands, but even frozen fish can be prepared deliciously.

I like tomatoes with a sour lemon or vinegar dressing and a sprinkling of black pepper. They give me vitamins. I keep hardboiled eggs in the icebox all the time, and if I get terribly hungry I eat the yolk of one of them. At home I have fruit, tea, and one egg every morning. But if I've gained half a pound I give up that egg and have an apple instead.

Of course the other side of this coin is that many men like to cultivate hobbies that give them a chance to get off alone—gardening, stamp collecting, building something in the basement, for example. And that's a cue to let him have his privacy. Just find out whether he wants to share an interest with you or go off like Walter Mitty and have extravagant daydreams in the carrot patch.

Alfred promised me that he would do just that—work for four weeks and on the fifth take a complete rest. That's the only way to arrange it because a man who's deeply involved can't shorten his work day very easily but he can organize a complete break. Unhappily, Alfred didn't do this. That's why he died.

Women are lucky, I think, because they can get so much more variety into their lives than most men can. With a little organization a woman can excel as wife, homemaker, mother, career woman, and gracious hostess, be lovely to look at and to be with—and still have time left over to be a good friend to a lot of people. And a happy friend. Of course, we all have our problems. But I don't inflict mine on my friends. At least I try not to.

Being cheerful on the phone is part of giving. Sure, we all have our problems, but why inflict them on our friends? I think I can count on the fingers of one hand the people who call up with a cheery, happy voice—and keep it that way. People with problems seem to find that telephone irresistible. When they're happy they just don't think about sharing it with other people.

You have to live with a painting as you do with a lover. It's that personal. You might want to change lovers. You might want to rearrange your paintings. That's the way it should be.

My own children wouldn't think of dropping in without calling to see if I'm busy.

My dresses always go into their individual plastic bags, pinned to canvas-covered wooden hangers in a special way so that they'll hang right. (Some hangers do terrible things to the shoulder line.)

My most important rule is: Never put anything back soiled. Things get hung up at night, but first thing in the morning I bring them out in daylight to see if there's a water spot, a grease spot, a smudge.

We all think we have the formula for a good marriage—whether or not we've made it work ourselves—and I'm no exception. My recipe: Be a giver, not a taker.

A busy woman can't spend whole days in front of mirrors, but she ought to have them all over the house (which improves the décor, too) and make a point of glancing at herself every time she passes one. It's a form of narcissism that pays off. If you are pleased with what you see, chances are he will be, too.

If you want the girl next door, go next door.

People who have good taste are bound to make a mistake now and then, because they're human, and when they do it's a horrendous one. It's so ugly you can't believe it. On the other hand people who have terrible taste are bound to make a mistake and buy something exquisite—and you can't possibly understand how that could happen!

With taste, and a little study and ingenuity, any woman can have a perfectly lovely place. Lacking taste? Ask! Any good store will happily give you expert advice. If you can't afford that, look—feel—observe. And your friends will be enchanted to tell you what to do. (Be sure they're friends with beautiful homes.)

I've heard of men who were permanently stymied in their careers because their wives flatly refused to leave their home towns. That's not right. A man's job has to come first and women have to draw on their natural adaptability.

One rule: Never let your husband see you exercising. No woman rolling around on the floor looks really adorable after she's passed her third birthday.