Quotes from Norman Wisdom

I owe everything to the army.

I've done seven shows at the Palladium - long running shows I'm talking about.

In fact, one was so booked out we went from March and were to go till November, but the pantomime was booked so they transferred the show to the Prince of Wales Theatre because it was so packed out, and it ran on from there.

All my boyhood, all I ever wanted was to be loved.

I've got one idea I want to do for a film and you know I just enjoy myself doing bits and pieces.

I don't know nothing about communism. But I know the Albanians loved me. Same reason as anyone else loves me. Because I made them laugh.

I was in the band as a boy and was taught music and learned to compose.

I'm still constantly thinking of ideas. I don't feel 90. I think I'm about 12.

Such is life and life is such and after all it isn't much. First a cradle. Then a hearse. It might have been better, but it could have been worse.

I was born in very sorry circumstances. Both of my parents were very sorry

I have a folder where I keep all the articles the critics have written about me. It makes me feel good.

I've been extremely lucky having been in the army when I was a boy of fourteen.

It was absolutely thrilling to meet Laurel and Hardy, they were so nice.

I used to first go on to entertain an audience. But now I go, and this is really true - I go on to have fun with a crowd of my chums.

I was born in London, and went to school in Scotland - I used to be dead tired when I got home at night.

Well if I was going to describe my audience, it's going to take longer than you'd ever expect, hundreds of years in fact, because there's many of them, all over the world.

I do play drums when I'm on tour.

You know I've got a chum, a smashing mate, he's got a dog with no legs, and he calls it a cigarette. It's true, yeah, because at nighttime he has to take it out for a drag.

I've an idea for doing a Situation Comedy myself but its always difficult to get people to listen to you because they like to put their own ideas forward.

I can never tell a joke, I've always found it easier to just fall over.

My comedy is for children from three to 93. You do need a slightly childish sense of humour and if you haven't got that, it's very sad.

It was smashing working with Jerry Desmonde, he was a very nice chap.

I play drums, clarinet, saxophone, trumpet, french horn, piano.

I like consistency. If you've had a childhood like mine, you want some things you can rely on to stay the same.