Quotes from Nathaniel Branden

I learned that the temptation to self-betrayal can sometimes be worst with those about whom we care the most. I learned that no amount of admiration for another human being can justify sacrificing one's judgment.

Once we see that living up to our standards appears to be leading us toward self-destruction, the time has come to question our standards rather than simply resigning ourselves to living without integrity.

I was acutely conscious of the pressure to adapt and to absorb the values of the tribe--family, community, and culture. It seemed to me that what was asked was the surrender of my judgement and also my conviction that my life and what I made of it was of the highest possible value. I saw my contemporaries surrendering and losing their fire--and, sometimes in painful, lonely bewilderment, I wanted to understand why. Why was growing up equated with giving up?

Teachers with low self-esteem tend to be more punitive, impatient, and authoritarian. They tend to focus on the child's weaknesses rather than strengths. They inspire fearfulness and defensiveness. They encourage dependency.5

To live consciously means to seek to be aware of everything that bears on our actions, purposes, values, and goals-to the best of our ability...

On the deepest level Christianity has always been a fierce opponent of romantic love.

Further, low-self-esteem teachers are typically unhappy teachers, and unhappy teachers often favor demeaning and destructive tactics of classroom control.

Persons of low self-esteem tend to discount the productions of their mind. It is not that they never get worthwhile ideas. But they do not value them, do not treat them as potentially important, often do not even remember them very long—rarely follow through with them. In effect, their attitude is, "If the idea is mine, how good can it be?

To practice self-responsibility is to think for oneself.

Often what people call "thinking" is merely recycling the opinions of others.

Flexibility. To be flexible is to be able to respond to change without inappropriate attachments binding one to the past.

The union two abysses does not produce a height.

So we can say that thinking independently—about our work, our relationships, the values that guide our life, the goals we set for ourselves—strengthens self-esteem. And healthy self-esteem results in a natural inclination to think independently.

A clinging to the past in the face of new and changing circumstances is itself a product of insecurity, a lack of self-trust. Rigidity is what animals sometimes manifest when they are frightened: they freeze.

When we convey love, appreciation, empathy, acceptance, respect, we make a child visible. When we convey indifference, scorn, condemnation, ridicule, we drive the child's self into the lonely underground of invisibility.

Flexibility, in contrast, is the natural consequence of self-esteem. A mind that trusts itself is light on its feet, unemcumbered by irrelevant attachments, able to respond quickly to novelty because it is open to seeing.

The higher the level of consciousness at which we operate, the more we live by explicit choice and the more naturally does integrity follow as a consequence.

Some people stand and move as if they have no right to the space they occupy.

Able to manage change. Self-esteem does not find change frightening, for the reasons stated in the preceding paragraph. Self-esteem flows with reality; self-doubt fights it. Self-esteem speeds up reaction time; self-doubt retards it.

research discloses that high self-esteem is one of the best predictors of personal happiness

The answer to this last is simple: In supporting and nurturing the self-esteem of our children, we support and nurture our own.

We should not sacrifice self to others nor others to self; we should discard the idea of human sacrifice as a moral ideal. Relationships based on an exchange of values are superior to those based on the sacrifice of anyone to anyone.

Healthy self-esteem is not ashamed to say, when the occasion warrants it, "I was wrong." Denial and defensiveness are characteristics of insecurity, guilt, feelings of inadequacy, and shame.

It is evaluative praise that does not serve a child's interests. Appreciative praise, in contrast, can be productive both in supporting self-esteem and in reinforcing desired behavior.