Quotes from Gilbert Gottfried

Comedy historians take note: this Gottfried character doesn't have the best eye for detail - and, for a Jew, he doesn't have the best eye for retail, either.

R2D2 has gotten more work since "Star Wars" than Carrie Fisher

You never know what people will choose to be offended by.

My Bubbie lived to 104, which is probably a little too old to consider a ripe old age, because she had already started to turn. I still say she died young.

Reality TV has totally destroyed soap operas. They're gone. They used to be the biggest thing in the world - they're gone.

If you're a lead actor, people are just waiting to say 'you're too old' or 'you're too unhip.' If you're a supporting actor, you can just work forever.

I'm a very anti-vacation person. Because I'm always getting on planes for work, to me, a vacation is when I don't have to get on a plane.

With the Internet, if you erase something it just means you have to spend another half-minute to find it.

I found out about Jonathan Winters death a day after it happened. That seems wrong. A talent like his should be more revered. The world knew about Kim Kardashians divorce before she did.

If someone else is paying for it, food just tastes a lot better.

People have many theories about comedy, but being just plain funny is the one most important thing.

A lot of people who claim they're political comedians are just comedians who have opinions. But they stop being funny the minute they give their opinions.

Any misfortune that happens to another person is funny. If it happens to someone else and not me, it's very funny.