Quotes from Tom Green

The moment for me, thinking I might actually want to do comedy professionally, was when I did public speaking at school. I found out I was good at getting up in front of class. In the fifth grade, I did a speech on comedy.

Before the cell phone and the Internet, you felt a more pure sense of liberty than we do today. Whenever you left the house, and the phone, in your kitchen attached to the wall, nobody was able to get a hold of you.

I knew at an early age that I wanted to pursue comedy.

I've always liked outrageous comedy and pushing the envelope.

The dirty little secret that nobody likes to talk about is that things just might have been better before the Internet. We had more time to ourselves before cell phones and text messaging and Facebook consumed our lives.

Sometimes it's nice when you go out on the road, and you come back, and your girlfriend's left you. You have complete freedom at that point.

I tend to sit around with my friends a lot and rant and rave about things I think are ridiculous in the world, and I tend to make fun of myself a lot.

I like to do something that gets a real reaction from people.

I think somebody getting repulsed is a positive reaction. Any reaction is positive.

It would be a dream to perform at Radio City Music Hall.

I like keeping people guessing. I like to have fun with them wondering if I'm sane or not.

I found myself trying to work within the Los Angeles system. I had an agent and a manager, which I still do, and going to meetings with networks about game shows and reality shows and projects that weren't mine. It was fun, but it wasn't what I'd set out to do.

I recommend people don't get in high-profile marriages. There are a lot of people in the world. You don't have to marry someone with their own team of publicists, managers, agents, and lawyers.

I used to do stand-up when I was in high school. But I was also making beats for this rap group, and when we got a record deal, I sort of stopped doing the comedy and focused on the music instead. When that ended, I decided to go back to school, take broadcasting, and start my show on public-access TV.

Everyone on 'The Apprentice' hates each other. They put you in a room, and they don't give you anything to do. They leave you there for 10 hours... they don't give you any food or water, and you start getting angry and arguing with each other.

Whenever I do something I tend to focus on it and spend all of my time and energy on it.

As comedians, we all get into that mode of thinking of the worst thing imaginable - but you usually have the ability to pull back before releasing it to the world.

I was a huge fan of Tom Snyder.

You might remember me from Eminem's rap lyrics.

If something becomes mean-spirited and hurtful, it's not funny.

I've got friends all around the world, but it still never ceases to amaze me when I come to a place on the other side of the planet that I've always imagined going to, and to get there and be meeting people all over on the street who know me - it's very exciting and humbling.

The easiest way to win the competition for eyeballs in the digital age is to broadcast bad behavior. People like watching train wrecks.

Performing on stage is addictive. The adrenaline rush is exhilarating. When I stop touring for a couple weeks, I get antsy.

It's such a huge endeavor putting a full movie together, especially an independent movie. I tend to kind of do them when they come my way more than something than I go out and actively pursue.