Quotes from Brian K. Vaughan

There's no graduating from this kind of education, couples just keep growing and changing until they either break up or die.

The world is a terrifying place, more than I ever realized. But if I had my whole life to do over again, that's literally the only thing I'd change. I'd stop being so afraid of other people.

Suck my hemorrhoids!

Granny used to describing giving your life as ultimate sacrifice, but I don't know about that. Dying is definitely the LAST sacrifice you can make, but sometimes, it's your first one that sets the tone for everything that follows.

Trust me, this whole freakout is probably just hormonal. You only gave birth, what, a week ago? Your body's still, like, a wasteland of chemical imbalance.

Gert: Wake me when the fight scene's over. Kitty Pryde: Oy, tell me about it. Hey, I'm Kitty. You the token pacifist of your group? Gert: Not exactly. Pacifists are like vegans, I'm more of a vegetarian. I enjoy fish and occasional maulings.

Well, robots are, of course, the monkey's natural enemy.

You're the one saying how vital offing these kids and grabbing their brat is to the war effort, right? Well, I'm telling you I need way more cash to do it right, so-- Lying. How have you not murdered that creature by now? Oh, I've tried.

How? How did you know...? What, that my wife can do anything? Isn't it obvious?

Rock beats scissors, bitch.

Okay, is anyone else worried that some of the fruit didn't fall far enough away from the tree?

There's an old saying, Zill. Freedom can't be given, only earned.

I'm not going to stand here and be eaten by some bitch's dinosaur. I am finally doing something with my life.

At first, he annoyed the shit out of me. Marko can be a self-righteous ass, he has no idea how to sit still, and worst of all, he laughs at his own jokes. Then why did you risk everything to be with him? Because your son is so goddamn beautiful. Ha. I assure you, looks aren't forever. Oh, I know. I wasn't talking about his looks.

Anticipation and dread aren't opposites, just different versions of the same game. Both involve knowing that something is going to happen, but not knowing when. And whether you end up winning or losing, you at least get to reach a conclusion. There's always some comfort in that.

I hated being twelve. Back in '65, I just wanted to grow up fast so everything would finally be good, you know? But truth is, life was actually way better back then. Turns out, the older you get... the more everything just turns to shit.

Anyone with an autobiography is almost definitely an evil piece of shit.

Alana, we are soldiers, not fucking damsels in distress.

Gert: What... what just happened? Chase: I don't know, but guess who totally stole Cookie Monster's glasses! Gert: Whew, for a second there, I was worried we almost learned something. Chase: Ooo, look at me! I'm a big fluffy nerd!

I was pretty good at picking up new languages when I was little, but it's not like I had superpowers or anything. Kids just have an easier time with words.

Well, I've always wanted to call my son Barr. Like a tavern? Like a soap ? My father's name is Barr. Oh. And I love it!

In the Open Circuit, characters are supposed to have 'arcs,' where they grow and evolve over the course of the story. But Mom always thought that was nonsense.

Have you ever been shot by one? Because I have and it hurt like the day my dog died...

The future is never fair. Just inevitable.