Quotes from Michael Che

I used to paint pictures - what happened was, I used to draw and paint pictures. And some of my friends would be, like, 'Yo, you should put that on a T-shirt,' because that's where their brain would go.

Cartoon violence is something very vivid and dark but made palatable for children in a fun way. That's the kind of comedy I do - I try to take subjects that might seem deep and make them as silly as possible.

I think satire suffered under Obama, but not because of Obama. People are more sensitive now than ever, and strong satirical voices are stifled because of that. I don't think a Clinton presidency would change that.

I remember liking the MTV awards when I was a kid.

I'm not saying I shouldn't have to pay any taxes, but I shouldn't have to pay as many as somebody that votes. I don't vote because I don't know anything about politics. And honestly, I can't believe they'd let me. Isn't that an important thing? They'll just let me pick the president! I don't gotta know anything!

I'm a big Knicks fan, and I will tell a professional basketball player that they suck because they didn't do what I wanted them to do.

When I was little, I used to suck the candy coating off of Advil and spit the white part back in the bottle.

If I'm doing a show on Sunday at 7 P.M., that wouldn't be the same show that I'd do at 11 P.M. on a Saturday - it's a different room at a different time of day with different sensibilities. That doesn't mean you have to compromise your art, but it is communication: you have to know how to talk to people.

There's tons of stuff where you're like, "God, I wish I could take that back."

I don't know how you can do comedy once every two weeks. Ever since I started, if I'm off for three days, I got to learn how to do comedy again.

I like comedy that's not political but social, dealing with issues of people talking to each other. No matter what your politics, we still have to live with each other. Politics is taking a side. I'm not running for office, you know?

Your number one job as a comedian is to be aware. You're supposed to understand the temperature in the room more than anyone on the planet - that's the whole craft of comedy.

Watching someone getting really angry can be very funny - if it doesn't affect you, you can laugh at it, and the sillier the thing he's angry about, the funnier it is.

Yes, I believe in equality. But I don't like the word 'feminist,' because it's such a rational belief to think that women are equal to men, and I'm a rational person. You shouldn't be labeled for being reasonable.

I feel like comedy is only respected on the highest level, and on every other level, it's like a joke, like, 'Ugh - comedian,' you know?

It's true - my mother kicked me out the house at 14. I had to go live with my sister. I had some problems. I was very rebellious as a kid. I don't even know why or where it came from, but I had a lot of anger. Me and my mom clashed a lot because she didn't tolerate that, as she shouldn't from a 14-year-old.

When I was about nine, I went to school with a toothbrush in my mouth. I saw Method Man do it in a video.

I have six brothers and sisters. My mother has six kids from two different marriages. And we would just sit around making fun of each other's dad, and all our dads had real problems.

America's a gangbanger country. We got our gang, and everything else is irrelevant.

To deliver something deadpan is very difficult; I don't think people know how hard those jokes are.

If I could work with Eddie Murphy on 'SNL,' I think I could quit comedy forever. For me and my generation, he's God.

Improv classes were too expensive, so I just started going to open mics. And the day I did it, I did, like, three because I just loved it so much. It was so much fun. And it wasn't good, it was just fun to do. It felt like a release.

Nothing is funnier than a true story told by a bitter old black man.

If you really think everything in your life, everything that you benefit from comes from socially aware, like-minded, good-hearted people, then you're out of your mind. If you want only those people to have good jobs, we would have to learn how to adjust very quickly without those people. Maybe I'm cynical, but I truly believe that.