Quotes from David Sheff

The most ubiquitous form on the mainland is crystal, which is often manufactured with such ingredients as decongestants and brake cleaner in what the DEA has called "Beavis and Butt-head" labs in homes and garages. Mobile, or "box," labs in campers and vans, and labs in motels, have been discovered in every state. In 2006, Bill Maher quipped, "If Americans get any dumber about science, they won't even be able to make their own crystal meth.

The Oregonian published an exposé by reporter Steve Suo that reveals that the government could have contained (and could still contain) the meth epidemic. Only nine factories manufacture the bulk of the world's supply of ephedrine and pseudoephedrine, but pharmaceutical companies—and legislators influenced by them—have stopped every move that would have effectively controlled the distribution of the chemicals so they could not be diverted to meth superlabs.

kids come along with me when I drive down the

Even as all the experts kindly tell the parents of addicts, "You didn't cause it," I have not let myself off the hook. I often feel as if I completely failed my son. In admitting this, I am not looking for sympathy or absolution, but instead stating a truth that will be recognized by most parents who have been through this.

The seventh and eighth grade were for me, and for every single good and interesting person I have ever known, what the writers of the Bible meant when they used the words hell and the pit . . . It was all over for any small feeling that one was essentially all right. One wasn't.

Their deaths didn't seem to apply to us, maybe because their deaths, like their lives, were exercises in excess. In some ways they were simply living out the music. "I'm wasted," sang the Who. "I hope I die before I get old." And "Why don't you all just f-f-f-f-fade away.

It was so sick, I started laughing," she says. "I laughed and cried at the same time. That's when it struck me that I can't take my life as long as I can still laugh.

Maybe parents feel for every child.

From them, I learned another lesson: that I can accept-in fact am relieved to accept-a world of contradictions, wherein everything is gray and almost nothing is black and white. There is much good, but to enjoy the beauty, the love, one must bear the painful.

I have a daughter who reminds me too much of what I used to be, full of love and joy, kissing every person she meets because everyone is good and will do her no harm. And that terrifies me to the point to where I can barely function. —KURT COBAIN, in his suicide note

I can try to protect my children, to help and guide them, and I can love them, but I cannot save them. Nic, Jasper, and Daisy will live, and someday they will die, with or without me.

How innocent we are of our mistakes and how responsible we are for them.

The kanji characters he chose to make up the name of his new company—nin-ten-do—could be understood as "Leave luck to heaven," or "Deep in the mind we have to do whatever we have to do.

I well up with tears for it. For all of it. On the one hand: the uncertain future. The possibility of another hemorrhage. The chance that my children will be killed in a car accident. The chance that Nic will relapse. A million other catastrophes. On the other: compassion and love. For my parents and family. For my friends. For Karen. For my children. I may feel more fragile and vulnerable, but I experience more consciousness.

it has sunk in and I now know it emotionally. My children will live with or without me. It is a staggering realization for a parent, but one that ultimately frees us to let our children grow up.

It took my near death, however, to comprehend that his fate—and Jasper's and Daisy's—is separate from mine. I can try to protect my children, to help and guide them, and I can love them, but I cannot save them. Nic, Jasper, and Daisy will live, and someday they will die, with or without me.

He is brilliant and wonderful and charismatic and loving when he's not using, but like every addict I have ever heard of, he becomes a stranger when he is, distant and foolish and self-destructive and broken and dangerous.

Sometimes I am all right. Is this what they call letting go? I have let go, if letting go means I am all right sometimes.

I don't think too many prisoners would live under the boots of their misery if they knew that the amount of work is the same to make ourselves miserable or make ourselves strong. And when we do, we can free ourselves without leaving our cells.

Citing the University of Pittsburgh study, the New York Times noted, "The average adolescent is exposed to approximately 84 references to illicit substance use per day and 591 references per week, or 30,732 references per year. . . . Studies have long shown that media messages have a pronounced impact on childhood risk behaviors." A study of sixteen thousand teenagers in six European countries found that the more drinking kids saw in movies, the more likely they were to binge drink.

In a letter thanking Pamela for the chart, Jarvis wrote, "People on the yard saw what I was doing, and they looked up, too. They passed the chart around and asked questions. I looked around and saw men from one side of the yard to the other all looking up to the sky. One of the rarest spectacles I've ever seen. Then I look over at the guards in the gun towers—they were looking up, too. Everyone just looking into the sky.

worse shape than you and helping the poor person. It's about a relationship between equals. You understand their suffering. You're completely in their shoes. It comes from softening our hearts, opening up to our own and others' pain. To me, that's enlightenment.

On average, a teenager is exposed to approximately eighty-four references to drug use every day and almost six hundred references every week—that's more than thirty thousand a year.

The main problems with America's addiction-treatment system stem from its roots in the archaic notion that addiction is a choice, not a disease. One common symptom of the disease of addiction is relapse. Kicking an addict out of treatment for relapsing is like kicking a cancer patient out of treatment when a tumor metastasizes.