Quotes from Dawn French

a.m. for about an hour, tops. That's when they could keep their promise and, to their credit, they never broke it. Hope was sorry that she couldn't rely on her mum and dad for babysitting

but it really hurt, so she

I am genuinely dull. Duller than the world's dullest-ever thing, so dull it's not worth the time it takes to imagine it.

Now, he numbly stands stock-still, in abject fear that this whole catastrophe may well be his doing.

it ate away at me when i was already full of holes

that she wasn't 'allowed', which

I've never disliked myself, and my weight has had nothing to do with my self-esteem.

That's the weird thing about not being married - you can't get regular kissing; you can't be guaranteed of it, and that's a great shame.

We have to do a film parody for Comic Relief. We can't decide which film to parody at the moment. Any ideas welcome, but not Spiderman owing to costume being too tight.

In actual life I am a grumpy old bag.

Turn up your radio. Watch lots of telly and eat loads of choc. Feel guilty. Stay up all night. Learn everything in six hours that has taken you two years to compile. That's how I did it.

I'll always be a fat girl and I am happy with that.

I am a rubbish flirt.

The theatre is one of those muscles - if you don't exercise it, it becomes a strange and truly fearful place.

Any people whose lives are about the way they look, whether it's fat or thin, are in a dangerous area.

I've chosen to stay in a jolly place for most of my life, and that is a lot of who I am.

When I wrote 'Dear Fatty,' I realised that sitting and writing alone is an absolute joy.

I'm constantly astounded by how amazing women are. And as we go through all these different stages of life as long as you share them with others and say, 'Well, this is bloody weird', you can get through everything.

Theatre outings are my favourite thing to spend money on. The most influential play I saw was 'Bent,' which starred Ian McKellen. And I loved the original performance of 'The Rocky Horror Show,' with Richard O'Brien and Tim Curry at the Royal Court, when I was about 15.

My best friend is the most important girl, outside of family, to me. I met her when I went to college and we bonded immediately. I'd do anything for her at any time. We phone each other every day.

If I were alive in Rubens's time, I'd be celebrated as a model. Kate Moss would be used as a paint brush.

The only time I did not know how to be, physically, was when I lost a lot of weight. That was the only time I didn't understand my body.

I don't read novels whilst I'm writing one; I just haven't got a wide enough brain to concentrate on incoming and outgoing in the same time zone.

I don't know what the future holds, but I have to be confident about it. It's just the way I am.