Quotes from Victoria Wood

I once went to one of those parties where everyone throws their car keys into the middle of the room. I don't know who got my moped, but I drove that Peugeot for years.

Life is a windowless room in the Hotel Bellevue.

Well, I think there's not much of a chance for me finding somebody of my age. Gentlemen of my age are dropping down 30 years to find girlfriends.

I used to make my own food and ate on my own in my room.

My massage was marvellous. I feel really relaxed. And my masseur, Harold :You can't have a masseur called Harold. It's like having a member of the Royal Family called Ena.

I've never understood the point of ecstasy. I think if I wanted to get dehydrated and jump about with a load of people I've never met before I could go to a Methodist barn dance.

I thought coq au vin was love in a lorry.