Quotes from Hannibal Buress

My dad named me after Hannibal Barca, the Carthaginian general who attacked Rome. But nobody knows about him.

I don't like to post fresh standup material, because I want to use it in a special. The stuff I like to post online I like to be off-the-cuff moments.

Even on TV appearances or big shows, I don't know if I've ever been as nervous as I was my first time doing stand-up. I just remember getting offstage and sitting down, and my right knee was just shaking from the adrenaline.

I like to drive nice cars; since I live in New York, and I don't drive there, it's a novelty to be on the road and drive and listen to my music.

I did a 'Last Comic Standing' audition in 2006, where you're just performing for three people in a comedy club, in a big comedy club, and I remember them cutting me off, asking about my name in the middle of one of my jokes. Yeah, it's just real weird when you're doing stand-up in that type of sterile, unnatural setting.

I applied for a job at Starbucks. One of the questions was, 'Why do you want to work at Starbucks?' Uh, because my life is in shambles.

With sitcom writing, you're trying to write stories.

Social media is interesting. It helps me connect with fans. It's immediate. It's a big part of my touring business - getting the word out via Twitter, Facebook, and Instagram.

If I ever have downtime, I'm usually sitting in my place playing video games. Or eating sandwiches somewhere, or watching sports some place.

I never use a napkin on my lap at a restaurant...because I believe in myself.

I have weird aspirations. Like, I really want to kick a pigeon.

We were talking about urban youth. And by urban I mean lives in a city not urban as in black like white people use it.