Quotes from Lee Mack

I use Wikipedia and eBay; I look for singles for my 1950s jukebox.

Not Going Out's jokes were based on the American mentality in terms of how often the jokes appear.

I'm like a goldfish. My memory is terrible.

I've never been able to keep my finger on the pulse of fashion.

I've tried everywhere, but my garden shed is the most effective place to write.

I'm on my own when I say this, but I'm one of the few people that think that 'Everybody Loves Raymond' is better than 'Seinfeld.'

I've realised that my strength is writing around people.

There's nothing more damning in life than a child calmly and coldly saying, 'Are you aware that you're teaching me bad habits?'

I would make it illegal to walk into a comedy club with a tie on.

I would say about 90 per cent of drunken idiots in comedy clubs wear ties, particularly in London where I work most of the time.

The best comedy you can ever have is when you're in the pub with your mates. You can never beat that. That's what I try to recreate in stand-up.

Yes, if I wasn't a happily married man with three children, Emma Bunton would definitely be my hot-tub fantasy date.

Since 'The Office,' everyone has this idea that comedy is only good if it reflects the way people really speak. But that's nonsense - and it's a problem unique to comedy.

My only ambition was to get to 50, and not regret not having had a crack at being a comic.

Bobby Ball, who plays my dad in 'Not Going Out,' is very funny. He has a magical sense for comedy that nobody has been able to replicate.

It's much harder to have a BBC One sitcom than to have a tour of stand-up.

I do write a lot of stuff for my tours. I think I just want to give people their money's worth. They've paid to come and see jokes so I try to give them as many as I can.

Genuinely my big thing and the reason I'm in 'The Miser' is because I always ask myself one simple question when I'm offered anything: Will it get me nearer to being 'Doctor Who' or further away?

When men sit around and talk, they are very competitive. One person will tell an anecdote and the next person will try to top that. When you get six women together, they share a lot more. They will be far more interested in what the other person has to say. The conservation is more interactive and less about individually showing off.

Before Twitter, if comedians wrote what they had for lunch on a Post-it and put it through your letterbox you wouldn't find it acceptable - but now apparently it is on Twitter.

I don't know how I've managed to reach the age of 45 as a professional comedian and not watched more 'Simpsons,' considering everyone says it's one of the best shows ever.

I'm a huge fan of stuff like 'Planet Earth' and the American sitcom 'Everybody Loves Raymond.'

Everyone told me that British sitcom was dead. Then I looked at 'Seinfeld' and 'Frasier' and thought, 'No it's not, it just needs more gags.'

Not Going Out' is a pretty neutral sitcom - to quote the 'Seinfeld' thing, it's not really about anything.