Quotes from Peter De Vries

The murals in restaurants are on par with the food in museums.

There are times when parenthood seems nothing more than feeding the hand that bites you.

Man is vile, I know, but people are wonderful.

I wondered whether any woman could be happy with a man who says 'folderol'.

The rich aren't like us they pay less taxes.

I write when I'm inspired, and I see to it that I'm inspired at nine o'clock every morning.

There are times when breakfast seems the one thing worth getting up for.

I can still hear my mother wailing over some new kitchen crisis, "Oh God," and my father answering cozily from the silo, "Were you calling me, dear?

This human nature is shabby stuff, as you may know from introspection.

A politician is a man who can be verbose in fewer words than anyone else.

It is the final proof of God's omnipotence that he need not exist in order to save us.

Let us hope, I prayed, that a kind Providence will put a speedy end to the acts of God under which we have been laboring.

When I can no longer bear to think of the victims of broken homes, I begin to think of the victims of intact ones.

Let us hope...that a kind Providence will put a speedy end to the acts of God under which we have been laboring.

If there's anything I hate it's the word humorist-I feel like countering with the word seriousist.

Deep down, he's shallow.

We turned on one another deep, drowned gazes, and exchanged a kiss that reduced my bones to rubber and my brain to gruel.

The universe is like a safe to which there is a combination. But the combination is locked up in the safe.

We are not primarily put on this earth to see through one another, but to see one another through.

Time heals nothing — which should make us the better able to minister.

Celibacy is the worst form of self-abuse.

Rather than waste precious time arguing, I went up and started serving my "sentence" without delay. It was usually about an hour for epigrams; somewhat longer for a paradox.

We must love one another, yes, yes, that's all true enough, but nothing says we have to like each other.

Confession is good for the soul only in the sense that a tweed coat is good for dandruff - it is a palliative rather than a remedy.