Quotes from Tom Robbins

Only the young and the beautiful should be allowed to fuck.

All depression has its roots in self-pity, and all self-pity is rooted in people taking themselves too seriously.

My heart is a Latin American food stall and your love is a health inspector from Zurich.

O tequila, savage water of sorcery, what confusion and mischief your sly, rebellious drops do generate

Unfortunately, little darlings, there is no such thing as a simple love story.The most transitory puppy crush is complex to the extent of lying beyond the far reaches of the brain's understanding.

Faites de beaux rêves, monsieur, she called as she put out the light. Switters had always loved that expression, Make fine dreams. In contrast to the English, Have sweet dreams, the French implied that the sleeper was not a passive spectator, a captive audience, but had some control over and must accept some responsiblity for his or her dreaming. Moreover, a fine dream had much wider connotations than a sweet one.

You know what the game of golf is, don't you? It's basketball for people who can't jump and chess for people who can't think.

For them not to have fucked then and there would have required such a reversal of the laws of nature as to cause Newton to spin in his coffin and NASA to discontinue the space program.

And it rained a fever. And it rained a silence. And it rained a sacrifice. And it rained a miracle. And it rained sorceries and saturnine eyes of the totem.

Why procrastinate when you can precognitate?

The only question is how to make love stay.

Consider the silent repose of the sausage as compared to the aggressiveness of bacon.

If a girl wants to grow up to be a cowgirl, she ought to be able to do it, or else this world ain't worth living in.

Who knows how to make love stay? Tell love you are going to the Junior's Deli on Flatbush Avenue in Brooklyn to pick up a cheesecake, and if love stays, it can have half.

Ritual he liked, but compulsory routine he hated. Thus, he resented every minute that he now had to surrender to showering, shampooing, shaving, and flossing and brushing his teeth. If mere men could devise self-defrosting refrigerators and self-cleaning ovens, why couldn't nature, in all its complex, inventive magnificence, have managed to come up with self-cleaning teeth? There's birth, he grumbled, there's death, and in between there's maintenance.

It is what it is. You are what you it. There are no mistakes. --Villa Incognito

Your author has found love to be the full trip, emotionally speaking; the grand tour: fall in love, visit both Heaven and Hell for the price of one.

Politics is for people who have a passion for changing life but lack a passion for living it.

There are smiles that actually travel along telephone wires, although no engineer at Bell Laboratories could explain how it works.

We approach the divine by enlarging our souls and lighting up our brains.

almost any object, including this book you hold, can turn up as Exhibit A in a murder trial.

There are three mental states that interest me. These are: one, amnesia; two, euphoria; three, ecstasy. Amnesia is not knowing who one is and wanting desperately to find out. Euphoria is not knowing who one is and not caring. Ecstasy is knowing exactly who one is - and still not caring.

So you think that you're a failure, do ya? Well, you probably are. What's wrong with that? In the first place, if you have any sense at all, we pay just as dearly for our triumphs as we do for our defeats. Go ahead and fail! But fail with wit, fail with grace, fail with style. A mediocre failure is as insufferable as a mediocre success. Embrace failure! Seek it out. Learn to love it. That may be the only way any of us will ever be free.

Sometimes, though, I feel that pushing books is a whole lot like pushing medicine. Think of books as pills. I have pills that cure ignorance and pills that cure boredom. I have pills to elevate moods and pills to open people's eyes to the awful truth: uppers and downers as they were. I sell pills to help people find themselves and pills to help them lose themselves when they require escape from the pressures and anxieties of life in a complex society...