Quotes from Bruce Feiler

The world of work is in a sustained period of upheaval. The average worker today holds twelve different jobs before the age of fifty. Those with higher education can expect to change jobs fifteen times and alter their skill set three. The typical job now lasts four years;

All in, I concluded that the total number of disruptors the average adult faces is between thirty and forty.

For centuries, European explorers had set out for new lands without using expressions like pharaoh and promised land, New Covenant and New Israel, Exodus and Moses. By choosing these evocative lyrics, the founders of America introduced the themes of oppression and redemption, anticipation and disenchantment, freedom and law, that would carry through four hundred years of American history. Because of them, the story of Moses became the story of America.

The neuroscientist Antonio Damasio says such feelings are our wake-up to a problem "that the body has already begun to solve." The point is: We may already have entered the transition before our mind even realizes it. Here

A meta-analysis of sixty-six studies completed in 1992 found that mothers who have more support from grandmothers have less stress and more well-adjusted children. The more involved the grandmothers are, the more involved dads are, too.

plurality of personal-voluntary lifequakes (37 percent) involve work—switching careers, quitting a job, or retiring; 16 percent involve leaving a marriage; the rest of this category are divided

forceful burst of change in one's life that leads to a period of upheaval, transition, and renewal.

THE LINEAR LIFE IS DEAD ? THE NONLINEAR LIFE INVOLVES MORE LIFE TRANSITIONS

If you always read books, you'll always be happy.

Primed to expect that our lives will follow a predictable path, we're thrown when they don't. We have linear expectations but nonlinear realities... We're all comparing ourselves to an ideal that no longer exists and beating ourselves up for not achieving it.

There is profundity to explore, but also laundry to do.

Just as people live life out of order, they go through transitions out of order. While some people experience these phases sequentially, others experience them in reverse; others start in the middle and work their way out. Some finish one stage before going on to a new one; others move on to a new phase, then double back to the one they thought they had finished. Many get stuck in one phase for a very long time.

In the end I believe the essential spirit that animates those places animates me. If that spirit is God, then I found God...If that spirit is life, then I found life...If that spirit is awe, then I found awe. Part of me suspects it's all three...all I had to do to discover that spirit and the resulting feeling of humility and appreciation was not to look or listen or taste or feel. All I had to do was remember, for what I was looking for I somehow already knew.

Anybody can dream an impossible dream. But only a few find a dream that's possible.

One of the things that happens in the world is that people try to avoid conflict. Whereas in the home, you can't. You'll end up getting divorced or becoming estranged from your kids. Keep in mind, the hardest part of any negotiation is agreeing to start it. Once you've gotten past that emotional barrier, the solutions usually present themselves.

Create a safe zone. Every parent quickly learns that every child—and every adult—handles conflict differently. Some push back when criticized, some turn inward, some break down in tears.

The higher the joy is not the light, it's the reflection. The greater pleasure is not climbing up; it's handing down

Each of us carries around an unspoken set of assumptions that dictate how we expect our lives will unfold. These expectations come from all corners and influence us more than we admit.

The A is agency—autonomy, freedom, creativity, mastery; the belief that you can impact the world around you. The B is belonging—relationships, community, friends, family; the people that surround and nurture you. The C is cause—a calling, a mission, a direction, a purpose; a transcendent commitment beyond yourself that makes your life worthwhile.

An autobiographical occasion is any moment when we are encouraged or obliged to reimagine who we are. It's a narrative event, when our existing life story is altered or redirected in some way, forcing us to revisit our preexisting identity and modify it for our life going forward. And nearly everyone goes through such moments.

Jung called this practice counterbalancing one-sidedness. Our lives become too tilted toward one aspect of our identity and too tilted away from others. We're all familiar with these scenarios. We become so obsessed with our work we neglect our family; we become so consumed with caring for children we overlook ourselves; we become so focused on serving others we ignore our loved ones. The more purely one thing we are, the more in danger we are of overlooking other things.

In his work as a management consultant, Covey often asked his corporate clients to write a one-sentence answer to the question "What is this organization's essential mission or purpose and what is its main strategy to accomplish that?

The most healthful narrative," he continued, "is the third one." It's called the oscillating family narrative. We've had ups and downs in our family. Your grandfather was vice president of the bank, but his house burned down. Your aunt was the first girl to go to college, but she got breast cancer. Children who know that lives take all different shapes are much better equipped to face life's inevitable disruptions.

Chaos is not noise, it's signal; disorder is not a mistake, it's a design element. If we view these periods as aberrations, we risk their becoming missed opportunities. If we view them as openings, we just might open up to them. Transitions are not going away; the key to benefiting from them is to not turn away. Don't shield your eyes when the scary parts start; that's when the heroes are made.