Quotes from Zach Anner

I was basically the person at Disney World that was in charge of clearing the park when it was closed... I was the guy... telling them to 'get the hell out and have a magical day.'

I'm not saying 'I have cerebral palsy, pay attention to me.' We all have problems, and we have to figure out how to live our best life.

New Yorkers - the people are so honest. If you're sucking on stage, they'll let you know.

Over the years, I've learned that a sense of humor is the only skill that allows you to turn sucking at life into a career.

For me, cerebral palsy wasn't the biggest deal, because I always had it. You know, you always work with what you got.

I make funny shows and put a positive message out there, showing people who have body image issues that... you don't have to look a certain way.

Even when something sad or tragic happens, I find a way to look at it in a positive light. People who don't have a sense of humor must be so sad all the time.

You really just have to have a good attitude, challenge yourself, and you can accomplish great things.

Humor disarms people. It opens them up to starting a dialogue about things they wouldn't normally talk about. I don't understand how people who don't have a sense of humor get through life.

I'd love to be 'People Magazine's Sexiest Man Alive, but I think that that's a ways off. I have to stop wearing sweat pants, and then we'll work on that.

Religion is something we don't talk about, and it is used by uneducated people as a weapon to divide us as opposed to connect with each other.

I feel that religion can be used as a tool to guide your life and help you connect with other people.

What I don't like about the way the media portrays religion is that they seem to weaponize it and use it as a tool to divide people.

Over the years, I learned that in my career, unlike in life, sometimes my wheelchair is its own automatic door opener. I was able to win the OWN competition by applying one simple principle: be funny, and admit you suck before anyone else can call you out on it. In other words, make the narrative of your failure a comedy.

A lot of the time, when people meet someone in a wheelchair, or with some disability, it's the first thing they notice, but they don't know how to react.

I use an electric wheelchair because I have no sense of balance, and muscle spasticity has arched my spine like a cat's, while my legs are really just for show.

I've accepted that we've all got crap to deal with and problems that we're fighting not to be defined by. At the end of the day, we all want the same stuff: fulfillment, love, support, comfort, and a hot-air balloon with laser guns attached to it. The most important thing is that we appreciate the crazy ride we're on.

Even the most embarrassing mishap can be spun into comedic gold.

Most people are really dedicated to doing good things.

My family is weird in a very good way because I was always exposed to the arts.

My grandmother was a church organist, but we only went on Easter and Christmas Eve sometimes.

When I was five years old, I auditioned for the role of 'Tiny Tim in A Christmas Carol.'

When I got my Oprah money, the first thing I bought was a really nice electronic bidet toilet seat.

Writing every day across nine time zones because Gillian [Grassie] was in Berlin, and we were working together via Skype. It was pretty intense. I'm really happy with how it turned out.