Quotes from Tao Lin

Amoeba ass is so hot.

and i don't think you should lie to me with any nature poems because you know you don't think sand is beautiful unless you are in a good mood, which you never are

Sam looked at the sky to see if there were a lot of stars. There seemed to be a normal amount of stars.

It would take her thousands of steps to get anywhere, but she would get there easily, and when she arrived, in the present, it would seem like it had been a single movement that brought her there. Did existence ever seem worked for? One seemed simply to be here, less an accumulation of moments than a single arrangement continuously gifted from some inaccessible future.

I felt confused, to some degree, by everything—but in a delayed manner, in that I seemed to be repeatedly realizing that I felt confused, instead of feeling directly confused

Yeah. I like Chopin. I feel like Chopin is 'emo.' Do you like Chopin?

I want my funeral to be a pizza party with 500 pizzas and nobody is allowed to leave until all the pizzas are eaten

Life is meaningless. Everyone knows this. Look at Fernando Pessoa. He knew the most that life was meaningless. But he was always worrying about things. If life was really meaningless you wouldn't worry about things

Don't be stupid and awkward," the dolphin says. "You want to walk together or not?" "You are a stupid piece of shit. Go away from me." The dolphin goes into the center of a circular clothing rack and quietly cries.

PRO TIP: IF YOU'RE SAD AND ALONE IN THE PLACE YOU LIVE THEN YOU GO TO ANOTHER PLACE YOU WILL STILL BE SAD AND ALONE WHEN YOU COME BACK

i try not to think of myself as a person but a metal object, built suddenly by machines in complete darkness something impossible to hurt with a shovel

A child said to me 'Do you want to see my penis?' and I said 'Maybe when you're older' and his mom said 'What's wrong with you?' so I said 'Okay, show me your penis now I guess

Garret went across the street to the library. There was a hole in the sidewalk the size of a bathtub. Construction was being done, was always being done. It was the journey that mattered, Garret thought woozily, the getting-there part. The mayor, and then the president, had begun saying that. "And where are we going?" the mayor had asked. "When will we get there? What will happen to us once we get there?" He really wanted to know.

i'm going to distance myself until the world is beautiful

God grant me the serenity to not fuck the things I cannot stand, courage to fuck the things I can and wisdom to know the difference.

and that's its only skill and it isn't good enough but it's still amazing

The reason we feel alienated is because the society is infantile, trivial, and stupid. So the cost of sanity in this society is a certain level of alienation.

I don't like happy people," Andrew said. "They're already happy; they don't need to be liked." "Wow, so selfless," Mark said. "You're a saint. I commend your selflessness. Amazing.

I'd like to disappear one day...I get the feeling sometimes that I can do that. It's like there's some place I really want to go to, and I'm not sure where, but I can still go. I think I'd really like that. I'd sit down one afternoon. I'd say, "Okay now, Susan, time to go." Clasp my hands or something. Then I'd do it. I'd just be gone then. No one would know. I wouldn't even know.

He started to realize his body wasn't defective; rather, his society was damaging.

people who don't know what to title their novels/movies can title them 'where's waldo' and insert waldo (or not, depending on tone) in one scene

Paul thought of how they'd kept delaying buying plane tickets to visit his parents in Taiwan - in December, which was next month, he knew - as if in tacit understanding that their relationship wouldn't last that long. Paul felt himself trying to interpret the situation, as if there was a problem to be solved, but there didn't seem to be anything, or maybe there was, but he was three or four skill sets away from comprehension, like an amoeba trying to create a personal webpage using CSS.

The unindividualized, shifting mass of everyone else would be a screen, distributed throughout the city, onto which he'd project the movie of his uninterrupted imagination. Because he'd appear to, and be able to pretend he was, but never actually be a part of the mass, maybe he'd gradually begin to feel a kind of needless intimacy, not unlike being in the same room as a significant other and feeling affection without touching or speaking.

i recommend the phrase 'pineapple ass