Quotes from John Scalzi

I don't discount that in the end, everything I do, say, write and am will amount to a whole lot of not much; I just don't think it's a relevant metric. The relevant metric is: Have I constructed a life that gives me happiness, allows me to give happiness, and allows for this life to have meaning within its admittedly limited context? If I am succeeding in this particular metric, I think I'm doing pretty well.

That's a distinction that's going to make a lot of difference to the ninety percent of humanity that doesn't know the difference between astrology and astronomy

In all of the history of professional sports, the Cubs are the ultimate symbol of complete failure.

My job is to be your loyal opposition.

There was general agreement that Brahe was correct, until Gell-Man taught the squad to swear in Arabic.

Until then, get the fuck out of my office." "I enjoy watching you work," Fundapellonan said, after Heuvel got the fuck out of Kiva's office.

Let's just say that I anticipated that when I needed to leave Ponthieu, it would be suddenly, and that I might be chased. And that those chasing me might prefer that if I couldn't be caught, that I should be rendered into very small pieces.

The rest of the rebels were recruited from the ranks of the young and excitable and had rather more enthusiasm than skill.

General Gau had thanked for her candor in this as in all other things and then went ahead and did it anyway.

How long do you think it will take them to get a transport here?" I asked. "Are you kidding?" Dad said. "If they didn't send for one the second I was done talking to them, I'll eat my hat." "You don't wear a hat," I said. "I will buy a hat and eat it, then," Dad said.

Libertarians secretly worried that ultimately someone will figure out the whole of their political philosophy boils down to "Get Off My Property." News flash: This is not really a big secret to the rest of us.   I

People don't mind having the mystical aspect of a church being poorly defined as long as you make the rules of the church clear.

It's a cat," I said. "If Donut wants to spend time with you he'll show up in your room and sit on your important things.

I am also aware that ideals are hard to practice, especially when they are new.

Which reminds me that you'll be searched on both ends of your journey, on both ends of your body. Sorry, that was a nonnegotiable." Nadashe shrugged. "I was groped worse in college." "I don't know what to do with that information.

Now What? Kerensky said. We wait, Dahl said. For how long? Kerensky said, As long as dramatically appropriate, Dahl said.

When I was a kid I watched a documentary about the movie Planet of the Apes. The first one, with Charlton Heston. They were talking about how they would make up all the extras as various types of apes, like chimps and gorillas and orangutans, and then the extras would go to lunch and they would segregate. All the people made up like gorillas would sit with other gorillas, all the chimps would sit with chimps.

Yes, Hart, I went commando to a diplomatic function," Harry said, and then motioned to his body. "And now, as you can see, I'm going Spartan so a midget can whack me with a stick." He bent and picked up his Bongka. "Honestly, Hart. Help me out here. Focus a little.

The goal shouldn't be to make your child eat an entire set of encyclopedias by the age of six. The goal should be to encourage your child to be curious—to want to learn about the world, and explore the things that are in it.

Whether they are up to our standards or not, the fact remains: We need more crew.

You could say our new colonies live off the bodies of the dead. Only they're not really the bodies of the dead. They're just the cast-off bodies of the living.

Human brains are bullshit.

Hickory, have you ever lied to me?" I asked. "I do not believe you are aware of me or any Obin ever lying to you," Hickory said.

Still, I'd like to know how you came up with that line of reasoning." "You can thank a rabbi," Javna said. "And a hot dog.