Quotes from John Scalzi

All of us have people who saw weaknesses, who saw pressure points, and who saw ways to use of own ways and stubbornness against us. This threat is real. This treat is both practical and existential. It it isn't met by all of us, all of us are likely to be destroyed.

You know," I said, "I've been trying to make jokes to you the entire time I've been here." "I know," she said. "I'm sorry. My sense of humor was surgically removed as a child." "Oh," I said. "That was a joke

On the other side of the door, literally and figuratively, were ambassadorial staff and experts and advisors, from Earth, from the Colonial Union, and from the Conclave. If one was quiet, one could feel their combined howling frustration at not being in the room at the moment.

You know what the worst fucking part of that was," Kiva said as they headed to the door. "What?" "Motherfucker ran down jollof rice. It's not fucking banal. I was going to order that.

Other countries pass laws requiring that their movie theaters, television networks, and radio stations have to play a certain percentage of homegrown entertainment. Because if they didn't, Hollywood would wipe it all out. We're not a world leader because we have nuclear missiles and submarines. We are because we have Bugs Bunny and Friends. Our planet is what Hollywood has made it.

I'm pretty good at being okay. If nothing

We all looked. "Mate, those look like fossilized turds," Kahurangi said. "That's why we call them poopfruit, yes," Tom said. "You need to talk to your marketing people," I suggested. "They taste better than they look." "They would have to, wouldn't they?

You want explanations," Colonel Abel Rigney said to Coloma from behind his desk at Phoenix Station. In a chair in front of the desk, Colonel Liz Egan sat, watching Coloma. "What I want is to walk you out of an airlock," Coloma said, to Rigney. She glanced over to Egan in her chair. "And possibly walk you out after him." She returned her gaze to Rigney. "But for now, an explanation will do.

I'm glad you have Senia, Kiva." "I'm glad too," Kiva said. "Although that was fucking unexpected." "Love often is," Grayland said.

I thought I asked to dispense with bullshit." "There's bullshit and then there's bullshit, Lady Kiva." "Well, you're right about that, at least.

Your president only speaks for Americans. American movies speak for your world. Who hasn't seen Wizard of Oz? Or Jaws? Or Star Wars? We've seen them, and we're not even from this planet.

Humans are also social creatures. Even the introverts among them crave interaction—not necessarily with other humans, but rather with the residue and output of those other humans: books and music and art, to be contemplated and perhaps even created.

How was it for you?" "Mostly okay?" "Well, good," Kiva said, and patted Fundapellonan's shoulder. "Because you're about to get fucked by me again, this time in front of the emperox.

I have an opening on my staff," Danielle said. "I don't want to work for you, Dani." "I'm a terrific boss, and I'll brutally sabotage the career of any underling who says different.

Because what you just said is the sort of line that comes out of a Lifetime movie character after she discovers she has breast cancer," Eleanor says.

Charlie's Homecoming

You're very good with children," the woman said, noting Sorvalh's responses and tone. "I spend my days dealing with human diplomats," Sorvalh said. "Children and diplomats can be remarkably similar.

Hey, you know what, basing an entire system of social, political and economic control on the vague, all-too-easily misinterpreted words of a single person claiming divine inspiration is probably not actually all that smart, now, is it. This was because Lenson

When he's done, he turns to Holmes and says 'What does the night sky tell you, Holmes?' And Holmes says, 'That some bastard has stolen our tent!

The Forever War

Early on, there was talk of naming the colony Eden, but it was suggested that such a name was karmically tantamount to asking for trouble.

at least a couple of these are going to make you feel ravenously hungry. Go ahead and eat all you want, but avoid excessively fatty foods, since one of these is going to tell your body to purge fats in a way that absolutely challenges normal sphincter control." "That's … not great." "It's a mess. Seriously, don't even think about trying to fart for the next eighteen hours. It's not a fart. You will regret it.

With this group. With the Equilibrium. Which is what they were calling themselves, anyway. I thought it was a stupid name. But they weren't giving me a vote. And if they did I would probably name it "The League of Assholes," so I don't think they would mind not having my input.

One does not need visions when one has data.