Quotes from Mark E. Smith

The thing with me. I can't stick musicians. I've thought about this. I can't stand them, and being stuck in a studio with them I think that's my strength I can hear what they can't.

If you're going to play it out of tune, then play it out of tune properly.

I knew it was coming. I knew they didn't have the nerve. Three days in and they've got faces like vexed tomatoes, their skins flaking sci-fi style: burnt to fuck. They were an embarrassment; not only to me and the wife and The Fall fans but to their own generation.

The second god lived by mountains that flowed By the blue shiny lit roads Had forgot what others still tried to grasp

I drank a jar of coffee And I took some of these

I'm annoyed by the lack of smoking on TV as well. It's terrible. It's funny seeing old interviewers lighting up, the likes of Russell Harty pulling on a Three Castles or a State Express or a Churchman Full Strength or a Passing Cloud. I think it's a shame that we don't get to see this any more. We should have more ashtrays on morning TV and presenters wheezing.

They fail to realize that 99.9 per cent of people with a healthy diet will eventually die.

How long is long in a hellish place?

Our city hobgoblins Infest my home at night

We went to this stupid heavy metal disco after the first gig – which was awful – and the group all started dancing to Deep Purple. I told them to sit down, have some dignity.

I used to believe everything I read, but now I'm steppin' out.

And sometimes they say 'Hey Mark you're spoiling all the paintwork' And sometimes they say 'Your thumbprints are on the paintwork

Rock & roll isn't even music really. It's a mistreating of instruments to get feelings over.

In 1997 I said they were dicks for voting Labour – but nobody was having it at the time. Three years later people are saying – 'Oh, you were right there, Mark.' It's a waste of time, really, but I still do it. Nobody likes the bringer of bad news.

But I really can't stand it when blokes feel the need to comment on your drinking habits. It's rampant, all that malarkey: New Labour trying to keep people alive for ever. I don't see them berating the royals or their backbenchers about having a cig or a large gin at 3 o'clock in the afternoon. If you put it in the context of the current climate, having a few pints and a Benson after work is hardly the worst crime on earth.

Nuking Russia might not be a bad idea as far as the bleedin' world is concerned. They've plunged a lot of people into miserable lives. You've only got to be in East Germany to see it. It's a horrible way to live. It's like Doncaster.

When I fiddle around with their amps, it's because it needs to be done. I must be hearing it different to them. But you'd be surprised by how many people tell me that it works. Not that I need telling. I know it works.

I keep going on about it, but musicians are a unique sort. The stage is everything to them – there's nothing outside of it. It's as if they're still performing in a school play and their mam's out in the audience and they're busting a gut to upstage every other fucker around them. I've got to keep an eye on this all the time.

We're living in a re-issue world, filching from the past like magpies with a Tardis.

Mark, how did you find out?' and I go, 'What?' 'I only wanted a private wedding, I got wed today.' Of course, I thought why didn't you invite me then, you cunt? And I say, 'Congratulations, mate, and by the way you're sacked.' So you can see why he's a bit scarred.

On the other hand, I can't stand these lads thickening up their accents and singing about shit kisses and cigs and chip shops, this affected realism – it's not that far removed from George Formby.

They couldn't understand that the left and right were never a threat anyway; that the worst thing is a sanitized society ruled by the middle class. The working class and the real upper class have a lot in common. They know where they're from, they like a drink, have a sense of humour. It's the middle you need to look out for.

The evil is not in extremes It's in the aftermath