Quotes from Elaine Stritch

My biggest dream was to get out of Michigan - to discover life beyond the Sacred Heart Convent.

I don't want to see a movie twice. I don't want to do anything twice.

I compare Stephen Sondheim with humor, because humor is unanalyzable. You can't analyze humor. You just have to get through it.

I smoked, I drank, I did all the kicking my heels up type things, but I went to Mass on Sunday.

Honestly, this is a big thing to say, but I don't think I've ever been bored. If I even get an inkling of it, I split.

You cannot tell an audience a lie. They know it before you do; before it's out of your mouth, they know it's a lie.

I think the most interesting New Yorkers are the people who were not born here.

You can't be funny unless you're tragic, and you can't be tragic unless you're funny.

I don't have to go to a doctor and have my face changed. It terrifies me that women do that.

I mention I'm going home, and I'm a star immediately! This used to happen with my boyfriends - as soon as I'd say, 'I gotta go home now,' they fell in love.

I'm a hotel baby, absolutely: it's hard to think of a hotel I haven't stayed in.

Two drinks a day. Two drinks a day. TWO DRINKS A DAY! It doesn't work! Not when you want eleven, and not when you start shopping for wine glasses in the vase department at Bloomingdales.

There's nothing attractive about doing a documentary. Nothing. It's hard, hard work, and I find having all the attention of the day on me a very unattractive proposition.

I was so happy I didn't have to work that night. That was the truth, because show business is about the hardest profession in the world.

I'm loaded with talent.

Fear is the base of what everybody does wrong in their lives.